Last night, Kanye West told a sold-out show that he would have voted for Donald Trump if he had actually voted in the election. The crowd quickly went through the grieving process, according to videos from the audience: screaming out, then booing, then cheering as he started playing his next song (fittingly "Heartless") before he started speaking on the topic again. He exclaimed, "This world is racist, okay? Let’s stop being distracted to focus on that as much. It’s just a fucking fact."
West has always been outspoken politically (remember this) and this latest outburst is likely to set him a few steps back on his already rocky relationship with his former collaborator, Jay Z. It was only a few weeks ago that Jay and Beyoncé were vocal and strong supporters of Hillary Clinton during the campaign, urging their fans to vote for her over Trump.
Now, Twitter is taking the events into their old hands, and repurposing the viral and popular Joe Biden and President Barack Obama meme into an even more relevant one: Jay realizing that he will no longer be friends with West. I can only imagine what Bey would have to say about this.
Sometimes it takes a hilarious meme to mend a country. We rounded up the funniest ones here.
Having sensitive skin is like going through a breakup: It all seems so smooth on the surface, until one wrong move leads to loads of irritation — and then it all goes to shit. Throw in the whipping winds and colder temps that come with fall and winter, and everything quickly becomes a straight-up catastrophe for your face and body. Even things you'd never expect to be a problem, like swapping out your cotton shift dress for a heavy wool coat.
And sure, not every cool-weather fabric is itchy or redness-inducing, but higher quality materials tend to be — you guessed it — way more pricey. (Here's looking at you, cashmere.) So while tossing and replacing the stuff with new clothing sounds nice in theory, it's not always an option.
If you can relate, we've got solutions. Ahead, the biggest offenders you'll find in your closet this time of year — plus, the products you need to save your skin from the dramatic aftermath of a day spent in each. They're way more affordable than coughing over the dough for a silk scarf; in fact, you can even snag most of them at your local drugstore. Because you should spend your hard-earned cash on things that matter, like a trip to the Bahamas that doesn't require you to wear many clothes at all.
Wool
It happens every damn year: You dread the moment you need to pull out the warmest coat in your closet, because you know the wool is going to feel itchy against your skin even after you sling it off. “This can happen to anyone, but it rings especially true for people with sensitive skin or eczema,” says Howard Sobel, MD, dermatologist and founder of DDF Skincare. “The irritating effect has long been thought of as the result of an allergy to the wool itself."
Photo by Kristina Wilson.
To prevent it, try to avoid letting the fabric touch the skin. "Consider lining materials, like thin-knit silk or cotton undergarments," says Dr. Sobel. If the damage is already done and you're red from shoulder to shoulder, he suggests reaching for moisturizing oils or creams rich in fatty acids (like the avocado oil found in this body oil from Nivea) to help soothe irritation.
Nivea Nourishing Body Oil, $11.99, available at Nivea.
And if the itch reaches an unbearable level, it never hurts to over -hydrate — so long as the formulas are fragrance-free or safe for sensitive skin, he says. This one is jam-packed with soothing actives like vitamin B5, but also has water-activated technology that locks onto skin long after you step out of the shower.
Curél Hydratherapy Wet Skin Moisturizer, $7.99, available at Target.
Sequins
'Tis the season to whip out those sparkly, disco-ball dresses, but we'll be damned if they don't tear up our legs and arms by the time the bar closes. That constant scraping and rubbing can lead to painful cuts and chafing — not exactly what you had in mind.
Photo by Georgina Martin.
The good news is that you might be able to prevent the chafing (and thus, the scrapes). Dr. Sobel swears by Glide's thick, waxy balm — as do plenty of athletes who deal with constant uncomfortable friction, he says. The vitamin-rich ointment acts as a barrier to the skin, and the tube is great for smaller areas. "Try using it on your underarms beforehand."
Body Glide Original Anti Chafing, Anti Blister Balm, $9.99; For Her Anti-Chafing Moisturizing Balm, $7.99, available at Body Glide.
If you have minimal open skin wounds caused by constant sequin-scraping, you need to be cautious of what you are applying. "It's very important to keep the open cut moisturized," Dr. Sobel says. To remedy any wounded areas, stick to this tried-and-true salve, or choose an ointment with antibacterial properties, like Neosporin.
Aquaphor Advanced Therapy Healing Ointment, $3.11, available at Target.
As Sheryl Crow sings, the first cut is the deepest. "Make sure you wait for the wound to fully heal before using a scar cream like Mederma," Dr. Sobel says. "But they can help ensure you don't scar." If the sequins only cause a slight irritation, you're probably safe: Just apply soothing products with actives like aloe vera and cucumber to calm angry skin.
Mederma PM Intensive Overnight Scar Cream, $35.99, available at Walgreens.
Nylon
If you’re a consistent tights-wearer in winter — beware. “Tights are big-time eczema offenders, because there is constant friction between your skin and the nylon material,” Dr. Sobel says. “It also traps in heat and sweat, which triggers redness and the itchy condition.”
Photo by Jimmy Marble.
The key here is treating the flare-up right away, and in the same way you would eczema or any other inflamed patch of skin, “by keeping the area moisturized or using an over-the-counter hydrocortisone cream,” Dr. Sobel says. This one offers 1% of the active — a higher proportion than some other OTC formulas out there.
Aveeno 1% Hydrocortisone Anti-Itch Cream, $4.99, available at Target.
Polyester
It’s one of the most common fabrics found in sweatshirts and workout wear. But it’s also known to trap sweat on the surface of the skin, which can lead to a whole lot of pore-clogging problems. “The moisture then mixes with the natural oils released by the body and creates a film over the dermis,” says Dr. Sobel. The most common consequence: whiteheads and blackheads.
Photo by Atisha Paulson.
If you just can’t quit your favorite polyester shirt, you do have options. “Baby powder will help alleviate the moisture that is stuck between the fabric and your skin,” he says. “But that can still lead to irritation.” Avoid that conundrum with a talc-free formula instead, like this organic, baby-safe one.
The Honest Company Organic Baby Powder, $11.95, available at Honest.
You can also create a barrier with the Glide balm. This one is sweat-resistant, so you don’t have to worry about trapping it on skin.
Body Glide For Her Anti-Chafing Moisturizing Balm, $7.99, available at Body Glide.
Look, we feel you — we get hot walking around under all those layers, too. Sometimes sweating it out — even during the coolest of nights — is inevitable. But the resulting breakouts don’t have to be: Just use a salicylic acid-spiked body cleanser to keep 'em at bay. This one smells like a crisp grapefruit spritzer on a warm summer day, so you can suds up and temporarily escape.
Neutrogena Body Clear Body Wash Pink Grapefruit, $7.99, available at Neutrogena.
On days when you don’t have access to a shower immediately, you can mist on this spray that’s also infused with the acne-fighting stuff.
AcneFree Body Clearing Acne Spray, $10.99, available at AcneFree.
Fleece
Fleece scarves and jackets keep us nice and snug, but if yours is of the synthetic variety — as opposed to a more breathable cotton — it can turn into an itchy disaster, fast. Plus, constantly scratching at your neck “leads to a buildup of dry surface cells, which can make matters worse,” Dr. Sobel says.
Photo: Getty Images.
The skin on your neck is thinner than the skin on your face, but you should still exfoliate any cells that are just chillin’ there. Just make sure to use a gentler formula, like this salicylic-acid cleanser from CeraVe. Two times a week will do the trick, says Dr. Sobel.
CeraVe Renewing SA Cleanser, $11.99, available at Ulta Beauty.
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Some of us have talked to our families about money since early childhood. How much allowance can I get? Will you buy me this toy? Why do you pack our lunches? Why do you have to go to work? Are you paying for my college? Then one day, when we've supposedly grown up and are on our own, we get out of practice. It becomes as taboo as our sex lives. We suddenly remember how family money conversations are the crux of every fictional family drama from Jane Austen to Gilmore Girls, and we'd like to avoid all that, thank you very much.
Then again, what's money for, if not to help your loved ones?
So, deep breaths, you might just have to step into this minefield. Whether you're the one in need of a little cash bailout, or you find yourself in a position to help others, broaching the subject with family won't be easy, but it can be done. The holiday season is as good a time as any to do it — especially if you're all feeling warm and fuzzy about each other (with or without some liquid courage). With the advice of Refinery29's financial expert and founding partner of StashWealth Priya Malani, we've got some guidance to make it all just a little less awkward.
Since so many of us start our adult lives already swimming in student-loan debt, let's start with this one. If it is, in fact, a student loan that has you gasping for air, Priya first recommends looking into refinancing before you go to your family for help, since interest rates are at an all-time low. During the refinancing process, you’ll have the option to pick a loan with a longer term (more time to pay it off), which usually means the payment will be smaller. She advises her StashWealth clients to dedicate up to 20% of their net paycheck toward paying down debts. Keep that in mind as a benchmark when determining your monthly payment for loans and credit cards.
This is where things get tricky: Credit-card debt is usually the result of spending more than you make. Expect your parents (or other familial lender) to question your lifestyle choices when you go to them for help. That said, if you’re turning over a new leaf and really determined to get yourself out of this situation for good, you can remain one step ahead of any potential criticism. Begin with a game plan, perhaps one that involves transferring your balance to a zero- or low-interest card and paying it back before the teaser rate ends. If your monthly budget won't cover that whole amount in the given time, you might ask if they’d be willing to make up the difference by providing a temporary loan (that you also have a plan for paying back).
Illustrated by Tristan Offitt.
Once you've managed to dig yourself out of debt and land a job that actually pays all your bills, you could find that you're on the other side of this money-talk equation. Try not to let requests for help take you by surprise. Have a plan in place for how you'd handle such a situation, and talk it over with your significant other if you're in a serious relationship with shared finances.
Keep in mind that it takes a lot of guts for someone to come to you for money, so compassion is in order. That doesn't mean you need to waive the right to ask important questions about why the loan is needed and when you'll be paid back (politely). Also, remember that you can say no — even to your parents. Anyone who puts pressure on you after you've already refused doesn't show signs of being a reliable borrower.
One heads up: A loan can put a strain on the relationship. Though it may seem cold or formal, having a simple document (even an email) to point back to can save you from many disagreements about what the original terms, conditions, or promises were.
Illustrated by Tristan Offitt.
Even after you've been on your own for years, you sometimes come across these big items and find yourself in need all over again. Of course, you'd only ask for this kind of cash from someone you know has the financial means to do so. In which case, you can approach this the same way we've outlined for when someone might ask you for a loan: Set a proposed dollar amount, time frame, and payback schedule.
Then consider this ask a form of what Priya calls "good debt," as in, the kind that costs you money today but pays for itself in the long run. If you can position what you’re asking for as an investment, i.e. a house that will appreciate in value or school that may lead to a bigger salary down the road, your potential lender may feel better about saying yes. Avoid future awkwardness: Don't let the question of whether this is a loan or a gift remain vague.
Illustrated by Tristan Offitt.
Some of us have parents, siblings, and other loved ones who will never, ever ask for help, even when the situation is dire. We get it. A lot of adults tie their financial success to their intelligence or ability to make good decisions, so admitting failure is devastating. If you choose to reach out, be aware of how humiliated they might feel, and how condescending you might seem, no matter your good intentions.
Priya suggests coming up with a little script for yourself to begin the conversation, like, “Hey mom and dad, you did a lot for us growing up and now we’d like to help give back.” Then ask how you can help rather than determining that on your own. Allowing them to provide a specific area of assistance lets them retain control and dignity.
Illustrated by Tristan Offitt.
This one can be super scary, because it's not just about your financial vulnerability but about the validity of your dreams and ideas as well. Before you ask, gain strength from the knowledge that "the friends and family round" is quite common among startup businesses.
The first rule of thumb is to have a formal business plan to present to them and to treat them as you would any other investor. Be able to articulate your idea, explain your strategy, the business model, and timeframe within which they can expect their investment back, along with a projected profit as well as potential risks. If possible, make sure they know you have your own skin in the game too. People are a lot more comfortable investing when they know you have as much, if not more, to lose.
If they agree to invest, make sure you have a formal contract. Warning: One thing contracts and business plans can't necessarily protect you from is unsolicited advice your family members might feel entitled to give you now that they've got a stake in your success. Think long and hard about whether that's a price you're willing to pay.
Illustrated by Tristan Offitt.
Whether you're worried about your parents, a sibling, or another family member, you need to come from a place of respect, not condescension, when expressing concern over their financial health. Ask questions before you spout advice, but do your homework first, so you can have concrete suggestions rather than vague judgment. Ask if your parents are taking advantage of catch-up contributions to their retirement accounts, for instance.
Also, be willing to help if you find out they need it, or don't open this can of worms at all. If they seem resistant to your guidance, you could bring in a neutral third party by helping them make an appointment with a financial advisor.
Illustrated by Tristan Offitt.
Your cousin is heavily pushing their skincare line/jewelry line/workout routine. Whatever it is, you're not interested. Instead of saying you have anything against the product or her method of doing business, just blame your budget.
If it's not entirely true, think of it as a white lie for the greater good: I’d love to but it’s not really in my budget right now. Thanks anyway!
Illustrated by Tristan Offitt.
It's hard to think about the fact that your parents are getting older, but their future can have a huge impact on your own. According to a study last year, 20% of millennials are already providing financial support to their parents.
Do your parents have enough saved? What happens if they become disabled? Knowing their plans is important for less concrete financial considerations too: You may be planning to rely on your parents to help with childcare down the road, but if they have plans to move to Florida for their golden years, it's time to think about nannies and daycare.
Illustrated by Tristan Offitt.
This one's tricky: No one wants to think about death. But this question isn't inappropriate, and it can save a lot of extra heartache if the worst happens.
Priya encourages her clients to initiate these delicate conversations with their parents by explaining that they're in the middle of their own planning process. Say something like, "Our finance pro mentioned that most people create a will but never tell family where it's kept, which got me thinking I don’t know where yours is, or if you even have one." This isn't about being greedy for your inheritance, by the way. When someone dies without a will, even with little or no assets to pass down, they leave behind a painful bureaucratic headache for everyone else.
Illustrated by Tristan Offitt.
Your parents or siblings could be struggling to make ends meet, but you really want to spend some special time with them and you have the means. A good way of making this happen without letting anyone lose face is to frame it as a holiday gift. It's up to you to judge how much your family will resist such a generous gift and how much convincing they'll need to take you up on it.
You may want to downplay your spending by joking that this is their only gift for the next year, or by telling a white lie about a big bonus or a raffle prize. We don’t condone lying, but in an effort to make your recipients less uncomfortable, maybe a little white lie is okay.
Illustrated by Tristan Offitt.
When you're trying to save money or get out of debt, it's frustrating to get an unneeded new wallet or scarf when you really could have used the cash your family spent on those things. The thing is, gift-giving is just as much for the giver as it is for the receiver, and a lot of people don’t find the sentiment behind giving money as satisfying as giving a present that requires thought.
But again, if you frame your request the right way, they could see things differently. Tell your folks that you’re working on building an emergency fund and that you'd really appreciate a monetary gift to go toward your financial security. Manage your expectations, though. Families with a strong culture of gift-giving won't move away from it overnight.
Illustrated by Tristan Offitt.
Guilt is nearly unavoidable during the holiday season, but honesty is a good way to ward it off. Even though your parents want you to visit them, they probably also want you to be financially stable. You might want to say something along the lines of, “While I can’t afford to visit you, I have a plan to save up so that I can visit in the next three months." They'll appreciate knowing that you’d really like to see them.
And then the ball is in their court. They may be able to swing the trip in lieu of another gift. Or together you can set up a Skype date to celebrate the holiday and make sure to prioritize saving for a visit for a few months down the road.
Illustrated by Tristan Offitt.
Don't want to talk shop? You don't have to. Some easy shut downs: Half of what I'm worth.Whatever it is, it's never enough. Enough to pay the bills, which is a good thing.
Or if you want to segue into what, exactly, you do, change the topic by saying, hopefully more soon, I'm up for a promotion, so fingers crossed. And then talk more about your day-to-day duties.
Illustrated by Tristan Offitt.
When you live in an expensive city, relatives who live in a more affordable place may be shocked by the amount of cash you splash out on your pad. And while you're fine commiserating on rent with your friends, you don't want a lecture from Uncle Charlie. So what do you say? A few bland comments are all you need to bore the asker into another topic of conversation, says Priya.
Her best suggestions: Say, “Too much,” “It’s not bad,” or “Ugh, you don’t even want to know."
Illustrated by Tristan Offitt.
Ugh. This is the worst. But before you retaliate and explain that, yes, of course you're spending money on your favorite boutique fitness class/designer brand/Seamless splurge, suss out where and who the advice is coming from, says Priya.
Instead of jumping into a defensive position, start by asking a question like “Why do you ask?” That way you can frame your response in context of why they are asking. Maybe the person asking has a suggestion, additional information that might help you, a personal example that you can learn from, or they may just cause you to rethink what you’re spending on — for example, perhaps they have a tip on an amazing sale site where you can get incredible designer purchases for a fraction of the price (we can dream, right?).
But if someone’s asking when it’s really none of their business to have an opinion about what you’re spending on — especially if it’s a want not a need), feel free to shut them down. One of the lines that we say a lot around the office is, "Yup! Everyone has their thing!"
No one has the right to tell you how to spend your money. However, if you’re not great with money, it's self-defeating to ignore smart advice, even if it’s delivered in a judge-y sort of way. Try to ignore the delivery and focus on the advice. If you can manage to do that, the only person that benefits is you! That’s a good thing!
Illustrated by Tristan Offitt.
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There are a few things in life that don't come with a playbook: how to use an umbrella, how to date in a big city, how to be political without being corrupt... Look, adulting can be hard. But an unexpected breakup comes as a particular shock to the system. And picking up the pieces to put yourself back together again is exhausting.
It can be a long process, too. After weeks spent crying in your car, into your pillow, in your shower, at a bar, even — you might survey your closet and think to yourself, Here we are again. You're at the same place you stood on date No. 1, as you rushed to throw something together that wasn't trying too hard, but just enough for someone you didn't even know. (No one cares about that stuff, by the way — wear whatever makes you feel good.)
It's funny how we're so connected to our clothes. Some of us work hard, in part, so we can spend money on our wardrobes; a good chunk of our free time might be spent taking care of our clothes, and when we're ready to get rid of certain pieces, we have to deal with tossing or donating them. But nothing says codependency with your closet like the knot in your gut when you realize that one of your favorite pieces is still at your ex's house. Fuck.
"Don't panic, don't panic," you tell yourself. You can't possibly face that person again — the person who decided their life was seemingly better without you in it — but they lost that privilege by deciding to break up with you, anyway. So, what do you do? One option, of course, is to meet up with them one last time to do the final exchange. "Uh, you left these at my place a long time ago. Figured you'd want them back," he says, without an ounce of courage to look you in the eye.
The second option, though, might be a better idea for those who don't have anything left to prove: Ask a friend to do it for you. It's a harsh reality when you realize that you're still not ready to see this person, and that you probably won't be for a long time. It also reminds you how lonely the next few months are going to be. But there's always a bright side: It's that moment when you realize you need your friends the most. Because, yes, part of their job is to tell you when that dress isn't, unfortunately, all that great on you. But we can count on them to pick us up when we fall, too.
Photo: New Line Cinema/Everett Collection.
If ever there were a step-by-step guide for this predicament, Sex and the City has provided us with a plethora of examples over the years. But the moment Carrie moves back into her apartment after being jilted at the altar is all too real. Thankfully, her assistant, Louise from St. Louis, is there to organize all of the heavy lifting while Carrie pieces her freelance life back together. The look on her face when she opens the box that has her wedding dress in it says it all.
"Do you want me to get rid of it?" Louise asks. "No, it's too beautiful. I'll just bury it deep in the back, like I did my feelings," Carry replies, pushing the box out of frame. It's a scene that makes us think about who the Louises in our own lives are. She's your best friend from college, she's your coworker, a family friend, or simply, just someone who gets it; that's basically the only requirement. Everybody needs a Louise.
And it's moments like this, moments of loss and despair, that make fashion an experience. They underscore the idea that the art of investing in something you truly can't live without is worth every penny. You kind of have to think about that wear-with-everything cashmere sweater and wonder if, one day, it's truly going to be worth your tears — or more importantly, worth keeping — or not. You call it a messy breakup, we call it shopping smart.
So, the next time you're separated from a killer pair of jeans by a total relationship implosion — call your Louise. She'll make sure they get back to you in one piece, folded just the way you like it. And when she goes through the same thing, you'll be there, too — picking her up and dusting her off, en route to rescue the clothing items she misses, the ones she can't live without. She'll need them. Because fashion isn't just a Band-Aid or a coping mechanism for dealing with our bigger problems. Sometimes, it can be our saving grace.
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Anthony and De Lima married in 2014, and began dating in 2012. Anthony married the Venezuelan model in a small private ceremony in the Dominican Republic.
News of the split comes mere hours after Anthony and his ex-wife Jennifer Lopez kissed onstage during the Latin Grammys. After seven years of marriage, the couple split in July 2011. They have two children together.
You know how some things have to fall apart so other things can come together? We've already lost Brad and Angelina. Maybe news of this split means that J.Lo and Marc Anthony are ready to reclaim their natural place at the top of our #relationshipgoals list.
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We love Black Friday deals as much as the next gal, but it seems that in recent years stores have been going overboard on competition and opening their doors earlier and earlier. Many places have even taken to starting the savings on Thanksgiving, a full day before Black Friday. According to The New York Times, though, this year is going to be different.
Apparently, retailers are starting to recognize it's not always worth it to open on Thanksgiving Day. With online retailers like Amazon, consumers know they don't have to stand in line or shop on Turkey Day in order to find deals. Proof is in the numbers. As the Times reports, the National Retail Federation's annual survey showed that last year, 34.6 million adults shopped on Thanksgiving. That's down from 43.1 million in 2014 and 44.8 million in 2013.
Of course, there will still be plenty of major stores open on the holiday, but you should make sure to double-check closures before venturing out to shop. Take a look at the complete list of retailers and malls that will not be open here. It may be kind of a bummer to have fewer days for deals, but we're actually kind of glad we won't feel as pressured to leave the house on our favorite food-centric holiday.
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I'm not going to lie, Mariah Carey’s new mini docuseries (fancy lingo for reality show) is the first that I actually can’t wait to watch. Carey is an icon whose reputation precedes her and I’m super excited to get some behind the scenes footage of Mimi. E!, the network that brings us Keeping Up With the Kardashians, is certainly hyping it up. They’ve released a third promotional trailer for the show, which airs December 4, and we have some questions.
Check out the trailer here and then click ahead to see some of the questions we hope to see answered on the show.
Is Mariah Carey evernotposing?
Mariah is serving face and angles and every piece of promo we've seen for Mariah's World. We think she could give Kim Kardashian a run for her money as Selfie Queen.
Photo: Roger Do Minh/E! Entertainment
How obsessed is she with lighting?
Mariah Carey does not play when it comes to her lighting. There have actually been rumors that Mimi is very demanding of the lighting guys working on her show.
Photo: Ian Gavan/E! Entertainment
Will Mariah hook up with her backup dancer?
The answer to this question is probably going to be a huge storyline in the show. When she and former fiancé James Packer split, the word on the street was that it was due to a close relationship with backup dancer Bryan Tanaka.
Photo: Evans Vestal Ward/NBCUniversal
Is Mariah trolling the trolls by making fun of her diva reputation?
There are several moments in the Mariah's World trailer where Mimi appears to sarcastically reference her eminent persona.
Photo: Paul Drinkwater/NBCUniversal
Is Mariah going to address her breakup on the show?
In the months leading up to the premiere of her show, Carey broke things off with her billionaire boo, James Packer. There's not a single clip of him in any of the trailers, but we're hoping we at least get a few more shots of that huge engagement ring.
Photo: Broadimage/REX/Shutterstock
Why is Nick Cannon trolling us?
While James Packer might not be a part of the show, Nick Cannon is front and center in several scenes with Mimi and their twins. We get it, they have kids together, but less Nick would be great. K, thanks.
Photo: Rob Latour/REX/Shutterstock
Is Mariah's World going to be our new favorite show this winter?
Absolutely!
Photo by: Evans Vestal Ward/NBCUniversal
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Mastering the art of giving “sexy” gifts is not something that comes easily to most. Well, alright, it doesn’t come easily to me or anyone I’ve ever dated. The first time I ever attempted a present of the R-rated variety was in high school, when I went to Spencer’s Gifts (not a great start) and bought a pair of fluffy, cherry-red handcuffs. Once I mustered up the courage to hand them over to my then-boyfriend — still in their Spencer’s bag and several days after his birthday — he promptly snapped them onto his own wrists with excitement.
“Oh,” I remember thinking disappointedly. “How do I tell him I actually want him to use them on me?”
And it wasn’t long before I learned that being on the receiving end of a misfired token of affection is equally as disheartening. To date, I’ve received lingerie in a baffling array of sizes, candy underwear that seemed suspiciously pre-nibbled, and one toy that was, frankly, so enormous I shrieked in fright the moment I saw it.
Long story short: I’ve learned through a whole lot of trial and error that the best way to find something you and your partner will both actually be excited about is to shop for your gifts together. Not only does scrolling through erotic merch provide a natural way to talk about fantasies you’d like to explore, but it also serves as a sort of pre-foreplay-foreplay that’s bound to get you excited to unwrap your new wares. Call your partner over to your screen right now, and check out a roundup of our favorite partner-friendly gifts.
Vibrating Couple’s Massager
I have a theory that one’s choice in vibrator is directly linked to one's sense of self-worth. That’s why after my last cheap plastic toy died on me (at a very inopportune time, I might add), I decided my next buy would be worthy of the job.
While you can certainly use this 24K gold-dipped beauty solo, it’s designed to be worn internally during intercourse, thus providing increased vibration and sensation for you and your partner. Think of it as a way to show your S.O. — and yourself! — how much you care.
You know what’s sexy? Wild, uninhibited playtime without fear of STIs creeping in to spoil the fun. Shopping for luxurious condoms with your partner can also help to reframe contraceptives in your mind as a treat, not just a necessary precaution. These particular condoms feature interconnected hexagons on the surface to supposedly offer a more “sensitive” sexual experience.
Add a sexy twist to the time you and your partner spend apart by picking out unassuming toys together, like a lipstick-shaped vibrator and discreetly packaged Ben Wa balls. Pair the toys with choice sexts, and you’ll find the time before you see him or her again to be unexpectedly stimulating.
If your partner isn’t woke about lube yet, now’s the time to introduce him or her to what’s arguably one of the sexiest and most versatile accessories out there. BabeLube is water-based, latex-safe, and by far the smoothest and least sticky formula I’ve ever experienced. It’s also a nice “stocking stuffer” to pair with pretty much any other item on this list.
Thinking about introducing bondage into your routine? Consider these easy-to-use restraints as a silky, smooth introduction for you and your partner. You’ll get the experience of being restrained without risking rope burn.
Gifting your partner a strap-on without any previous discussion can be… a gamble. If they’re not into it, you’ll likely be in for a very awkward gift opening and a hasty return. To avoid this scenario, broach the topic while you scroll through Babeland’s extensive toy catalog.
While plenty of people enjoy anal stimulation, it tends to be a topic that mainstream sex talks avoid. So if you can’t bring yourself to say the words “play with my ass, please” aloud, drop a major hint by adding this sparkly little number to your shopping basket.
This princess-worthy glass dildo is simply too pretty not to share with a partner. As an added bonus, it’s highly temperature sensitive, meaning you can either give it a dip in warm water or pop it in the fridge for a few minutes for added sensation.
There’s no clearer (or less subtle) way to say “please massage me on the regular” than gifting a deck of erotic massage cards that list out 50 different strokes and techniques. In the spirit of sharing, divvy up the deck and go stroke for stroke.
Attempting to try out new positions in bed can sometimes feel technical and overly complicated, especially when you’re maneuvering into formations that seem to involve far too much bending. Grab a cheat sheet in the form of these position-of-the-day playing cards, and take on “The Accordion” and the “Standing O” with confidence.
The best thing about buying this massage candle together is that you’ll be able to assuage any burn fears, and assure your partner that it’s specially formulated to melt at a cooler temperature. When you drizzle it onto your partner’s back, it turns into a silky oil that pairs perfectly with, say, a massage deck.
Getting into a dominatrix headspace is easier with the help of a few (vegan) leather accoutrements. Confirm with your partner that they’re interested in getting bossed around, and then build your fantasy costumes together.
Though '90s teen movies would have us believe otherwise, food and sex are not always a good combo. Your sheets could end up stained, or you could get uncomfortably sticky in the process, not to mention the infections that come from sugary substances finding their way into places they should not. Instead, gently steer your partner in the direction of an edible body paint made especially for bedroom play. The chocolate option is actually delicious.
, $, available at , $, available at
Oral Sex Lip Gloss
Learn from my mistake: If you don’t tell your partner that you plan on wearing a tingling gloss while going down on them, they may freak out and assume they are having an allergic reaction, effectively killing any sort of sexy mood. Clue your S.O. in by picking out the gloss together, and treat him or her to a (pleasant) surprise the first time you wear it.
In theory, expensive lingerie sounds like a perfectly safe, failure-free gift. In actuality, most people are rather particular about their underwear options and like to confirm the size, cut, and fabrics they’ll be expected to wear. Window-shop various styles together instead of winging it, and put on a fashion show once you’ve found your mutual favorites.
Without context, presenting your partner with a pricey, phallic stone might come off as a strange move. Once you share the merits of this majestic dildo, though — think next-level smoothness, excellent weight, and crystal healing powers, to name just a few — they’ll be intrigued. If you can, try and visit a boutique that sells Chakrubs, so that your partner can see and feel just how special the product is.
Unlike body paint, which is safe but not specifically formulated to be used internally, this “body topping” is designed to serve as both a lubricant and an oral sex enhancer. I know it might sound like a gag-gift reminiscent of Jessica Simpson’s once-great edible empire, but my coworkers and I taste-tested a ton of different lubes, and this one was the easy winner.
Ornate, underwire-y lingerie has it’s place, but there’s something unexpectedly intimate (and sexy) about your partner helping you chose loungewear meant more for Netflix-watching than stripping off. Anouk bralets fall in that sweet spot that’s both comfortable and cute.
Discovering that you and your partner are both into S&M is exciting, partially because it opens up a whole new world of gifts and accessories to test out. Some might not be into a collar or leash, so triple-check that your partner feels comfortable crawling around at your whim.
The coolest thing about this partner-controlled vibrator is that it doesn’t require a remote. Instead, your S.O. can download an app and switch on the vibrations no matter how far away they are. I highly recommend you slide it into place directly after purchasing, and enjoy the most stimulating commute home of all time.
LoveLife by OhMiBod, $129.00, available at OhMiBod
Striptease Tassels
Treating your partner to a striptease is one of those things that looks seamlessly hot in movies, but proves hard to replicate IRL. Case in point, my last attempt ended with me standing in an all-too-well-lit room, awkwardly trying to shimmy off a romper while my partner looked on in embarrassment, clearly trying to figure out why I’d randomly started disrobing.
Avoid such horrors by starting the conversation ahead of time, and picking out your “costume” with your partner. These tassels just so happen to be adorable and easy to pull off.
Letting your partner control the sensations you’ll be experiencing — in this case, seven different levels of vibrations — requires open communication before, during, and after sex. Talk through boundaries and safe-words when you first make your purchase, stay vocal as you give it an inaugural test run, and talk through what you liked best (say, which level of vibration) after the fact. Building this sort of open dialogue makes letting go and letting your S.O. take a dominant role so pleasurable.
The first time I ever presented my partner with a cock ring, it didn’t occur to me that intense genital vibrations might be an entirely new experience for him, because — unlike most women I know — he doesn’t use a vibrator to aid masturbation. Spare the surprise factor and explain how to use the ring while buying it. This way, you’ll both enjoy the intense sensations.
While trading selfies and Snapchat nudes is always fun, opting for a professional photo session that’s less ephemeral makes for an unforgettable experience. Brooklyn’s SHAG boutique offers erotic photography packages spanning from PG-13 boudoir shots to full-on, delightfully pornographic fetish shoots, depending on your comfort levels.
Photography via SHAG.
Adult Museum Tickets
If you don’t consider a trip to the museum a particularly sexy experience, you’ve never taken a stroll through the wondrous Museum Of Sex. Treat your partner to a day pass, and spend the time learning and exploring all things sex. An added bonus? The gift shop is stocked with erotic merch.
Just take my word for it when I tell you the Aire Ancient Baths make you feel like you’ve been plucked out of your real, mundane life, and dropped into an exotic romance novel...in a good way. A day pass at any of the locations grants you access to multiple baths and steam rooms, all of which are softly lit by flickering candles. Heavenly.
Aire Ancient Baths, $77.00, available at Aire Ancient BathsPhotography via Aire Ancient Baths.
Sexy Happy Hour
Do words like “dildo” and “butt plug” make your palms sweat? Remember that there’s nothing wrong with adding a little bit of dutch courage to your shopping experience. Babeland stores across the country host free events that are part whiskey or wine tastings, and part sex-tip workshops.
Burlesque Show
For couples who are more apt to spend money on experiences than physical things, two tickets to a burlesque show is an instant way to set a mood for your whole night. The Poetry Brothel combines erotic spoken-word performance, dancing, and theater. You’ll leave feeling cultured, horny, and probably covered in a thin layer of glitter.
Feather Tickler
A softer side of S&M focuses less on whips and floggers, and more on feather-light tickle torture. This tends to be an extremely polarizing sensation — some find it instantly arousing and some can’t handle it — so take a trip to the store to test it out before committing.
Booking a hotel room in a city you already live in is a sexy, decadent move that everyone should enjoy from time to time. If you live in a city with a nearby Standard Hotel, download the One Night Standard app, and you’ll be alerted whenever prices on same-day rooms drop. No roommates, no neighbors, no making the bed. The ultimate gift.
Update: Kylie's brick-and-mortar cosmetics store, that thing of legend, is really happening — and it's even more extravagant than we imagined. Representatives for the brand promise a "360-degree immersion" into the star's life, including replicas of her bedroom and furniture (for selfies, duh). Also mentioned: a "monumental Christmas tree" complete with Kylie ornaments. (No word yet on whether Kylie will be dressed like Santa and taking mall portraits for a fee.) The pop-up shop, featuring classic best-sellers and holiday items, opens December 9 at The Westfield Topanga (6600 Topanga Canyon Blvd in Canoga Park, CA) and will remain open "until supplies last." So you know, like, a day.
Update November 8: The Kylie Jenner cosmetics store is no longer the stuff of myths and seconds-long Instagram posts. Jenner recently shared pics of what appears to be a work-in-progress version of the brick-and-mortar location on her Instagram. From the looks of it, the store has a layout, and perhaps a design, but it desperately needs a paint job. When will it open? Jenner answers that question in the caption.
"Soon," she promises. (Thanks for the specificity, there.) In another post, Jenner claims she can't wait to reveal what she and her team have been working on. (She also says she's excited to share what goes on in her mind, which seems like a different and lofty task entirely.)
Nevertheless, Jenner is prancing around in a velour pantsuit and gesticulating at designers and engineers, so it seems the Kylie Jenner cosmetics store is nigh.
This story was originally published on June 24, 2016.
Another day, another beauty-related story about Kylie Jenner. (We're not complaining!) But today's topic isn't her latest Lip Kit shade or how quickly it has sold out. Today's news is bigger, better, and bolder. According to her Snapchat, the 18-year-old entrepreneur is opening up her very own brick-and-mortar cosmetics store. Yes, you read that right.
Okay, have you recovered? Good. In a seconds-long video, Kylie gives us a sneak peek at her possible location of choice. "Makeup store's about to be lit," she says way more casually than we were ready for. Here's what little information we can glean: Square-footage-wise, it's going to be big, like really big. And it's more than likely going to be in the Calabasas and Hidden Hills, CA, area — the home base of the Kardashian/Jenner clan. We can also bet it will be loaded to the brim with all the Kylie Lip Kits you can manage to swoop up (a.k.a. no more sighs of defeat after trying and inevitably failing to snag one online).
That's about all we got. Which means, yes, we have a ton more burning questions. Like: When is it opening? As we noted, it's definitely not small, so there's no way it's solely going to be stocked with lip products — right? What's next for Kylie's line? Foundation? Blush? Rows upon rows of wigs to choose from? Lashes will also probably be in the mix. Contour kit? One can only hope.
If you're planning a best-friend field trip to California as you're reading this, same. As much as people like to knock the young makeup maven, we can almost guarantee there will be a Hamilton -style line on opening day. See you there?
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One of the worst Instagram scenarios is stumbling across someone's outfit you absolutely love, only to realize they didn't credit any of the pieces they're wearing. Every night this week, that's exactly what's happened to me. I've scrolled past an array of It Girls wearing those perfect Kurt Cobain-inspired sunglasses and (unfortunately) found that they're either vintage or from a secret shopping destination said It Girl just isn't ready to reveal. Lucky for us, that search is finally over: We've uncovered a hub of affordable retro-inspired shades and we just can't keep it to ourselves.
Giant Vintage is, indeed, a never-ending collection of bug-eyes, cat-eyes, and every shape in-between. Whether you've been combing the internet for clear aviators or haven't found that perfect pair of tinted lenses yet, Giant is sure to come through. Here's what we love: Most of the frames cost no more than $30; you can shop by decade, silhouette, or by top sellers; and the site uses real people as models. That way, you can get an accurate feel for how the sunglasses actually look on someone's face.
Sure, the quality may not be let you keep these frames for the rest of your life, but for stocking up on of-the-moment shades, we're willing to let that slide (especially since Giant has tons of styles we haven't been able to find anywhere else).
Click on to shop the pairs we're currently eyeing.
Giant Vintage Cobain White, $25, available at Giant Vintage.
Giant Vintage Cobain White, $25, available at Giant Vintage.
Giant Vintage Kurt Calico, $22, available at Giant Vintage.
Giant Vintage Kurt Calico, $22, available at Giant Vintage.
Giant Vintage Tabitha Pink, $25, available at Giant Vintage.
Giant Vintage Tabitha Pink, $25, available at Giant Vintage.
Giant Vintage Kels Tortoise, $25, available at Giant Vintage.
Giant Vintage Kels Tortoise, $25, available at Giant Vintage.
Giant Vintage Oliver Black, $25, available at Giant Vintage.
Giant Vintage Oliver Black, $25, available at Giant Vintage.
Giant Vintage Oliver Tortoise, $25, available at Giant Vintage.
Giant Vintage Oliver Tortoise, $25, available at Giant Vintage.
Giant Vintage Kurt Black Blue, $30, available at Giant Vintage.
Giant Vintage Kurt Black Blue, $30, available at Giant Vintage.
Giant Vintage Dulce Pink, $22, available at Giant Vintage.
Giant Vintage Dulce Pink, $22, available at Giant Vintage.
Giant Vintage Sprinter Copper, $22, available at Giant Vintage.
Giant Vintage Sprinter Copper, $22, available at Giant Vintage.
Giant Vintage Amboy Black, $22, available at Giant Vintage.
Giant Vintage Amboy Black, $22, available at Giant Vintage.
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No matter how many times you see it on Instagram or done by beauty vloggers, applying green or rust-colored concealer to your skin can feel overwhelming. But it's time to give it a go — and here's why: Known as color-correcting, this technique uses hues from opposite sides of the color wheel to cancel out unwanted colors on your face. The most common are green (to stamp out redness) and rust (to diffuse undereye circles).
Here's our challenge for you: Leave hesitation behind by watching this quick video, because we're breaking down the game-changing technique in five easy steps.
Ready? Grab your products and let's get started...
Step 1. Start on clean, hydrated skin. Using a foundation brush, damp sponge, or your ring finger (it delivers the lightest touch), dab your rust-colored product under your eyes, focusing on any dark circles.
Bonus: Now is the time to add any contour under your cheekbones, since you're about to blend everything together.
Step 2. Using your green color-corrector, dab anywhere you have redness, like around the nose, on your chin, and over any broken capillaries or blemishes.
Step 4. Blend the green into your skin by gently patting it with your ring finger until it disappears into skin. Repeat over your rust color (and any contour), being sure you use a clean finger and a light touch.
Step 5. Apply concealer under the eye and lightly blend. Apply foundation, if desired.
Step 6. Dust translucent finishing powder over your entire face to set your hard work.
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Y'all. Y'all. Y'ALL! E! News is reporting that Marc Anthony and his wife, Shannon De Lima, just announced their separation. THE DAY AFTER HE KISSED JENNIFER LOPEZ IN FRONT OF MILLIONS OF PEOPLE. This could be evidence that a possible Marc and J.Lo reconciliation is actually happening. (!!!!)
While the rest of my colleagues looked on with bewilderment and slight fear at my gasps at the news, I almost fell out of my rolling chair in my rush to call my parents. (Long distance, by the way, because they are currently vacationing in Mexico.) My mom screamed so loud I had to move the phone a few inches from my ear. I could envision her perfectly manicured hand flying to her face.
Why is this such a big deal, you ask? Well, to Puerto Ricans, Jennifer Lopez is the queen and Marc Anthony is the king. When they got married, it was literally like the world fell perfectly into place: The king and queen together under one roof, ruling the world together with two heirs ( twins, at that). So when they divorced, it was a sad, sad day. Like, remember how the majority of America felt when Brad and Angelina announced their divorce? That was how Latinos felt when J.Lo and Marc split. (And I have no problems generalizing on behalf of all Latinos here, because I am willing to bet my life that 99.9% of mi gente feel the same way I do.)
So even if you don't get it, you can imagine how the kiss seen 'round the world last night was kind of like seeing royalty reunited again after many, many years apart. But then, we all remembered that Marc was happily married and speculated that maybe it was just a friendly smooch between exes — especially when he tried to distract us today with an Instagram "campaign" called El Beso Effect, where he kissed six random people on his plane ride back home:
This was clearly a (poorly thought-out) ploy to distract us from the obvious electric chemistry between he and his ex last night. I mean, it was steamy, palpable, perfect. A separation announcement less than 24 hours later cannot be a coincidence. RIGHT?!
Okay, I'm leaving now. If you need me, I'll be listening to "No Me Ames" on repeat. Oh, and if you haven't already seen the kiss with your very own eyes (What have you been doing with your life?!), you can watch the full smooch, performance, and acceptance speech, below.
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Jade Roper and Tanner Tolbert may not be household names, but thanks to their brutally harsh exchanges on Marriage Boot Camp: Reality Stars, they might be soon.
The couple, who met and married on Bachelor in Paradise earlier this year, have been in a rocky phase of their relationship for the entire season of the WE show. Now, Roper is straight-up admitting that she thinks the two might not have a real relationship.
"I am scared to death of you and I having no emotional connection," she tells the camera, and her husband, in a new clip on People.
The two have been on Marriage Boot Camp for a few weeks now — and we have seen Tolbert repeatedly insult Roper and constantly degrade her, so the comments don't come as too much of a surprise. Tolbert doesn't look too upset by her truthful exclamation. Later in the clip, he shares a heartbreaking story about how his father cheated on his mother and how, as an innocent teen, he was shown the footage of his dad messing around. The other couples on the show looked saddened and shocked by his story.
Roper tells the camera: "I love your mom, but that’s not okay. A parent shouldn’t drag a child through their shit..." She's sympathetic and clearly on her husband's side. He, as usual, responds in a brash and unfriendly way by biting back: "Well, your mom was not the best, either."
Watch the awkward and uncomfortable conversation IRL when the episode airs tonight at 9 p.m. EST on WE.
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The election has had a huge effect on Americans' mental health, with so many of us talking to our therapists about it and uncertainty and divisiveness abounding on social media. But, based on Twitter, the outcome of the election may also be affecting our physical health — potentially for the better.
People have been tweeting vociferously about how their gym time and exercise classes have become a powerful outlet for their anxiety. Since SoulCycle is known for creating a spiritual atmosphere and bringing people together, Americans in certain big cities (cough, New York) are voicing particular thanks for their church-like cycling class.
But please note: If a 45-minute spiritual cycling class isn't for you, even just a short walk is enough to get the endorphins moving and help you feel a little better about things. Meditation is another way to handle stress related to the election (or pretty much anything). Other ideas include de-stressing through aromatherapy or having sex. Really anything that helps you through the night (or the next four years) will do.
Click through to read some of the funny, relatable, and positive tweets.
Therapy, alcohol, and chocolate are all of course valid options as well.
A film like Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, which takes place 70 years before Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, requires a tricky cinematic balancing act. You want to please loyal fans of the franchise you are spinning off of. But at the same time, you don't want to confuse or alienate newcomers in the audience who know little, if anything, about J.K. Rowling's complex magical universe.
So as a massive Potterhead, I'm pleased to report that Fantastic Beasts — starring Eddie Redmayne, Katherine Waterston, Colin Farrell and Ezra Miller — strikes a perfect equilibrium. There are enough nods to the HP canon — allusions, symbolism, character references — to satisfy Potter nerds. But the movie isn't so tied to its predecessors that a newbie wouldn't understand anything. The result is a magical movie that charms with its wink-wink subtlety (and its many other wonderful qualities — like its sense of humor, its cast of actually fantastic beasts, and its glorious capturing of Redmayne's perfect face.)
Warning: This post contains mild spoilers about Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. If you haven't seen it yet, get your butt to a theater, stat — and do keep your eyes open for these brilliant homages to the series that started it all.
Secretly Spacious Luggage
Remember our good old friends Alastor "Mad-Eye" Moody and Barty Crouch? In Goblet of Fire, Crouch Jr. imprisoned Mad-Eye in a secret compartment inside a magical trunk of normal dimensions that expanded inside. We saw something similar in Deathly Hallows: Hermione had a Mary Poppins-esque jewelry bag.
In Fantastic Beasts, Newt uses the hidden depths of his deceptively small suitcase for a more benevolent purpose: Harboring endangered magical beasts.
Photo: Courtesy of Warner Bros.
The Niffler
It's easy to remember the cutest beast, ever. Nifflers are basically furry little literal gold diggers that are attracted to shiny objects and stuff their little pouches with whatever riches they can get their paws on.
We first learned about them in Hagrid's Care of Magical Creatures class. In Order of the Phoenix, Lee Jordan (Fred and George Weasley's bestie) plants one in Dolores Umbridge's office at Hogwarts, because, duh, she was horrible. The comical niffler in Fantastic Beasts steals every scene he's in.
Photo: Courtesy of Warner Bros.
Queenie's Legilimency
Queenie (Alison Sudol) may not have quite the career ambition as her sister, Tina (Katherine Waterston), but her inherent ability to see into people's minds is rare and powerful. We've seen the skill used before for dark purposes in the Potterverse, like when Voldemort tries to get inside Harry's head and read his thoughts.
On the other hand, Queenie seems to mostly use it to charm the pants off people and, occasionally, save the day.
Photo: Courtesy of Warner Bros.
Hedwig's Theme
The magical, twinkly tune dates back to The Sorcerer's Stone. Fans will be pleased to hear snippets of a newer, darker version of the iconic theme during several key scenes.
Newt's Hufflepuff Scarf
Newt dons the colors of his Hogwarts house a couple times through the movie. We get a glimpse of it just minutes in when a New York City customs officer inspects Newt's suitcase upon his arrival in America.
Photo: Courtesy of Warner Bros.
Credence Is The New (Old?) Snape
Pale skin and dark hair? Check. Mommy issues and a mysterious air of personal tragedy? Check. Misunderstood and unloved? Double check. Up for debate about whether he's good or evil? You betcha! We won't totally spoil his role, but it's fair to say Credence (Ezra Miller) is indeed the American Severus Snape.
Photo: Courtesy of Warner Bros.
The Deathly Hallows Symbol
Well, well, well. What's that nifty necklace ya got there, Percival Graves? The MACUSA auror, who investigates incidents of dark magic and works to keep wizards and No-Majs out of each other's way, wears this necklace before giving it to someone else later in the film.
It symbolizes the quest for the Deathly Hallows, the trio of powerful magical objects — Elder Wand, Sorcerer's Stone, and the Cloak of Invisibility — that allow one to achieve immortality. You can understand why scores of wizards have tried to acquire them, including Gellert Grindelwald.
Photo: Courtesy of Warner Bros.
Kicked Out Of Hogwarts For The Same Reason As Hagrid
We learn in Fantastic Beasts that Newt was expelled from Hogwarts for endangering people with an untamed magical beast — and that Dumbledore was the only one who fought for him. That's Hagrid's expulsion story, too.
Photo: Courtesy of Warner Bros.
The Obscurus
There is an Obscurus on the loose — a dark, powerful, destructive force that is extremely difficult to control. It results from the emotional trauma of having to repress your magic instead of mastering it — as is the case with Credence and his cruel adoptive mother, a wizard-hating witch-hunting Second Salemer.
It is later revealed that Newt has experience handling this dark magic. He once extracted the Obscurus from an innocent young girl. Also, we learn that an Obscurus can escape its human host and become its own entity for anyone to capture and use.
While Rowling has never actually used the term before, this volatile force sounds exactly like the kind of thing that exploded out of Ariana Dumbledore. Due to an incident with Muggle boys when she was younger, Ariana became incredibly ashamed of her magical abilities and kept them inside her — where they morphed into a dark and dangerous form of energy that drove her crazy and caused her mother's death.
Photo: Courtesy of Warner Bros.
Leda Lestrange
We don't actually meet Leda Lestrange (Zoë Kravitz) in Fantastic Beasts — we only see her in a photo that Newt carries with him — but we'll reportedly be seeing much more of the mysterious new character in the sequels. From what little Newt says about her, we gather he was, and still is, very much in love with her.
Potter fans' ears will perk up at the first mention of her name, because of her obvious relation to Bellatrix Lestrange, and her husband Rodolphus, Voldemort's sadistic, cackling sidekick who killed Neville and Tonks, among others. (It was also revealed in The Cursed Child play that Bellatrix gave birth to Voldemort's only child.)
Photo: Courtesy of Warner Bros.
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Earlier this week, Apple dropped a new product in a very un-Apple way. The release wasn't preceded by months of speculation online and there was no big press conference to announce its arrival. There was just a lone press release touting what is (likely) the company's last product announcement of 2016 (unless we do see AirPods before the year is out).
The lack of fanfare is due to the fact that unlike Apple's other major releases this year, this one is (drumroll please)...a book. No, not another new MacBook Pro. Just, a book.
Photo: Courtesy Apple.
Designed by Apple in California is the coffee-table book that every major Apple-obsessed buyer will be getting for Christmas this year. It is big, white, and contains 450 photographs of Apple products through the ages. It is a beautiful, nostalgic look at the technology of yore, but the $199 and $299 price tags (depending on if you buy the small or large size) are hard to swallow. Especially when you consider that for a few hundred dollars more, you could get the new iPhone 7.
Many have joked about the release, but none have done it quite so elegantly and in such spot-on Apple fashion as Stephen Colbert. The spoof, which mimics Apple ads that have appeared at the company's launch events, talks about the book's "touch-page technology" and "no headphone jack design," which combine to make it "the most advanced book" Apple has ever made.
Watch the full clip below for some weekend cheer.
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There was a time when, in some circles, a shaved head meant you were a skinhead, and a time when it stood for being gender-queer. But while in some instances, those ties remain, a woman with a buzzcut is a lot more common nowadays. Maybe it’s because I live in a creative city but, right now, I must know a dozen women with a shaved head.
When I asked these women why they did it, their reasons ranged from a moment of clarity, to a life-changing event, to a desire to take back control. Most said they found it empowering, or like wiping the slate clean. Sadly, some also said it lead to stereotyping, feeling invisible, or receiving homophobic abuse.
Ahead, we hear the stories behind the haircuts and how it made their wearers feel. If you’re considering a number 1, 2 or 3, this could provide you with some valuable insight.
Biju
Why did you decide to shave your head?
It actually happened on a complete whim – my best friend and I had gone to see the film Pride in the cinema and cried our eyes out, and that night I decided I wanted to buzz all my hair off because I was running on adrenaline and being proud of who I was.
How did you do it?
We bought some cheap clippers, she got a mohawk and I got a buzzcut. I always kind of considered it as the next step, as I’ve had short hair since I was about 10 years old. I cut it all off the first time because I saw a girl in a film with a pixie cut, so I guess films really define how I feel about my hair!
How did it feel, shaving it off?
It was really amazing. It was the first time I ever felt nervous getting a haircut since I had my first mohawk when I was 14. For a long time, people would describe me by my hair – as in “she’s the one with the blue / red / green hair” – so it felt like I was letting go of something quite integral to other people’s perception of me.
How does your shaved head form part of your identity?
I’d say it’s as much part of my identity as other stuff – like my tattoos and my piercings – but I don’t see hair as that much of a big deal because it’s temporary. I like the fact that men who have preconceptions about what LGBTQ people look like don’t hit on me. I like the fact I can look a bit more gender-fucking than I did before, despite my boobs. I like the fact it highlights my ear piercings because they are many and they hurt loads when I got them. But mostly I guess I don’t see it as something that forms my identity because it’s pretty in line with everything else I’ve done since I was 13 and how my identity has always been. Just a new way of communicating it.
And the best thing about it?
This question just made me think of the time I went to a house party where people were very high, and the moment I walked into a room, four people crowded around to pat my hair because it was buzzed, bright red and “looked like a cat”. So that.
Ariane
Where were you when you shaved your head?
I was in my local barber shop. My hairdressing bill used to be more than $100, I paid under $10 for this cut.
What was your hair like before?
It was long, thick and very straight with golden highlights. It was probably my best asset if I'm honest.
What was the main reason you shaved it?
I was diagnosed with cancer in June of this year. After the first couple of rounds of chemo my hair started to fall out. Huge clumps would fall out when I brushed it and I would spend mornings filling the bathroom sink with it. Shaving my head did, in a small way, give me some control over my situation and the huge changes my body was going through.
How did you feel after it was gone?
Surprisingly, very liberated. And cool, very cool, both in the temperature sense and edgy sense! It definitely helped that shaved heads seemed to be all the rage this summer.
Did it change the way you feel about your appearance?
100%. I feel less worried about how I look and don't aspire to have that "perfect" female form as much as I used to. I also never get derogatory comments shouted at me from white vans or catcalled anymore. Again another win factor! So in this sense I don't feel objectified and instead feel appreciated for me. Although this may be because I obviously look like I have cancer rather than just a trendy woman who has shaved her head. Who knows.
What's the best thing about having a shaved head?
It literally takes 0 seconds to style.
Yasmin
When did you shave your head and how long was your head shaved for?
I shaved my head with clippers in my bathroom at home, and kept it like that for a year or so. It needed clipping every two weeks.
Why did you do it?
I did it because I was sick of my face and needed a change. I joke about it being my "Britney moment" but that wasn't it at all. I wouldn't have maintained it for a year if it had been a moment of madness.
What was your hair like before?
My hair before was unmanageable and curly. I was sick of treating it every day and either frying it straight or waiting hours for it to dry naturally.
And what's it like now?
I've since grown it out to shoulder length. It's taken three years and I think it looks OK...
What was different about having a shaved head?
When I had a shaved head I received a lot of homophobic abuse, despite being straight. My family hated it and said I looked like a boy. I got called a "d*ke bitch" in the street. But I also got loads of compliments, especially from girls who wanted to shave their heads but were too scared. To them, I say: Anyone can pull off a shaved head, you just have to believe!
Eka
How long have you had a shaved head?
I shaved my head eight years ago. It was beyond liberating, not to mention low maintenance.
What inspired you to do it all those years ago?
I used to use chemical straightener in my hair and it was so time-consuming and expensive. Plus, I've always admired shaved headed women like Grace Jones and Skin from Skunk Anansie. They embody beauty and femininity.
Have you noticed anything different about how you get treated with a shaved head or not really?
Over the years it's become more of a trend to have a shaved head and so it's seen as cool and edgy and sometimes sexy now. People have stopped me in the street to tell me I'm beautiful and they love my hairstyle.
What are the best and the worst parts of having a shaved head?
In the UK the winters are cold, and that's the only time I ever think to myself that I should grow my hair, but I've gained thousands of hours of sleep by not having to get up early to do my hair!
Will you always have it shaved?
I might let my hair grow back, who knows!
Emma
Why did you decide to shave your head and when?
I'd been threatening to do it for six years but kept chickening out and cutting it Winona Ryder-short instead. In the end it was a matter of various forces aligning. I remember feeling like I didn't have a lot of stability in my life at the time and this seemed one of the healthier ways to give myself that sense of control back, at least partially. Summer was approaching and my hairdresser was out of town, so that seemed like a practical time to not have hair. I also did it the day before my 27th birthday so if it went badly I could say 'wow, remember when I was 26 and decided to shave my head? What an idiot!'
What was your hair like before?
I was in the middle of growing it out from one of those aforementioned short hair phases so it was a bit of a mess. There was a middle parting involved. It was quite Jared Leto circa My So-Called Life, plus half a head of bleach.
How did it feel, shaving it off?
Like the day you come off your period and you put your pants on and it feels like the first time you have ever worn pants.
How would you say it's changed your appearance?
I'm definitely someone who alters something about their appearance either as a confidence boost or as a symbolic way of acknowledging a period of change. So, for me, it hasn't made too much of a difference. I still have days where I feel buff. I still have days where I feel super self-conscious – especially if I have a breakout and there's nothing to distract away from the hormonal tempest raging across my face. I still have days where men shout at me in the street for no reason, which forces me to think about my appearance and re-affirm, to myself, how I choose to present myself. And I'm sure that will continue to be the case, regardless of what's going on with my hair.
The best thing about it?
I haven't paid for a haircut in five months.
Cecily
Where were you when you got it done? And when?
About 12 or 13 years ago in a small town in northern Italy called Bassano del Grappa (I was living there at the time).
Why did you do it?
I actually went in to get a standard haircut... the guy took ages to cut my (then quite long) hair and when he turned me around I was faced with one of the worst cuts I’d ever seen, proper mullet-meets-mushroom vibe. I had recently seen a picture of my mother from when she shaved her hair in the ‘80s and thought she looked cool as fuck so in that moment I made a split decision and told him to shave it all off. He was horrified – it wasn't really the "done" thing in Italy but when I told him to just crack on he started to get excited, shaved my head then bleached it so I walked out of the salon with a bright white shaved head. It was pretty scary.
Wow! What were the reactions like?
Well as I said, it was Italy and they weren't particularly adventurous in that little town at the time. My mother loved it, my father didn't know what to do with me, and my school friends were aghast. I got called Sinéad O'Connor a few times but, bar that, everyone actually ended up quite liking it.
How long did you have it until you decided to grow it out?
I had short hair for about a year and then went traveling and let it grow out. It was handy to be away for that awkward grow-out length. As luck would have it I had to renew my passport that year so I ended up living with this choice for a whole 10 years. Border control should have rules about commenting on passport pictures.
What was the best and worst thing about having it?
Best was maintenance, which actually did take some getting used to. It was much easier to travel with too – although in India, children would always ask me if I was a boy or a girl – another culture of long hair for women! Also that my hair wasn't in great condition from experimenting with hair dye in my teens, so it was good to give it a decent shot at recovery. The downsides were that it was quite chilly in the winter and growing it out, it didn’t look ideal.
Would you do it again?
I wouldn't say no! It was pretty cool and I found that I have a decently shaped head and nice warm hats are easy to come by. I'm definitely more comfortable in my skin now that I'm in my '30s.
Sophie
You were about to start chemo when you shaved your head – did you do it because you were going to lose it anyway? And was that about power or practicality?
With chemo you lose your body hair first, so you know what's coming! It was painful, emotionally, losing part of my identity that way, and a constant reminder that I was ill for the weeks it happened. Much of what had happened to me up until then was deeply personal but losing my hair felt very public. The final straw came during a BBQ when a clump blew off onto my little sister's plate! That's when I knew I had to take control.
What was your hair like before?
It was long and blonde after years of highlights! It never grows back as it was – it's definitely darker and thicker now. It's been an adventure, to say the least.
How did you feel in those moments after it was all gone?
When my head was shaved I felt a combination of liberated and empty, cold and powerful. A part of my old identity went with that hair. Determined not to let the 'blonds have more fun' idea prevail, I decided to use chemotherapy as a chance to reinvent my look. I had needed a new hairstyle for a while and now I was forced to have one. I think there is something very beautiful about being bald, it is our natural state at birth. I tried to have fun with wigs, head scarves, and new getups.
Would you say it's changed the way you feel about your appearance?
Losing my hair was certainly a big confidence knock at first but sometimes the biggest knocks have the biggest bounce-backs. When it came to eyebrows and eyelashes – that was hard, that's where our expression is.
How long has it taken to grow out?
I'm two years out of chemo and I've been experimenting with different styles. It's now shoulder length, I've had a couple of cuts, one buzz cut in Mexico... never again! A good diet and sunshine helps it grow!
Zoe
Where were you when you shaved your head, and how long ago did you do it?
I shaved it for the first time in Barcelona four years ago, in a public square with all of my friends dressed in black as a sort of funeral procession just before I moved to London. I did it again last year on my 30th birthday as an empowerment ritual, naked with my sister in Epping Forrest.
What was your hair like before?
I had long dreads the first time (a vestige of my squatting hippy past in Barcelona) and the second time I had dyed my shoulder-length hair black.
What would you say your main reason was? Had you been considering it for a while?
I did it both times as a marker point for a change in my life and maybe also as a protest against growing older and feeling the pressure to behave and look more like an adult. Both times were very considered and planned in advance.
How did you feel in those moments after it was all gone?
Both times I felt an incredible release and very powerful.
Would you say it's changed anything in you?
I think in a way it has, you have nothing to hide behind so you learn never to hide. As a woman, your hair is intrinsically linked to your worth so when you have none you can reconsider who you are and what kind of human you want to be beyond your physical presence.
Stella
How long have you had a shaved head?
Since February this year.
What made you do it?
I'd been cutting my hair shorter and shorter whenever I was bored over the six months before and, one day, I was shaving a guy friend’s head and I was like ‘dude, do mine too’. I’ve always really liked Chelsea cuts, so I went for that.
What was your hair like before? And why do you prefer to have it shaved?
My hair was in a very short, messy bob. I wouldn't say I prefer my hair shaved but I'm enjoying it at the moment.
Have you noticed anything different about how you get treated?
At first I was hyper-aware of how people reacted to me on public transport and in the street, and I think I saw negative reactions where there were none, which frustrated me. These days I think my haircut does me more favors than disservices, and I get to override people's initial expectations of a girl with a shaved head every day, which is fun.
Do you have many friends with shaved heads?
I'd say about a third of my friends have shaved heads, and more are opting for it all the time.
Are you going to grow it out?
When I get bored. But I'm sure I'll come back to it!
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Let's be real here: Even in the best of times, heading home for the holidays can be anxiety-inducing. All those relatives you see once or twice a year, suddenly converging around a single table to hash out family updates and "what's new with you"? I'm already tuckered out thinking about it, and that's not the tryptophan talking.
But in 2016, there's another layer of stress that might be looming over your Thanksgiving plans. As we're all more than aware, our nation just elected a new president. If you're anything like me, you're still devastated about the outcome and don't anticipate the gloom letting up anytime soon.
Or maybe you're nothing like me: The guy who got your vote won, so you're feeling hopeful about what the next four years could bring — but you're also worried about what your diehard liberal cousin will do when you ask her to pass the mashed potatoes.
My dad used to say that there's a reason politics aren't invited to the dinner table. I'm not entirely sure I agree. But I do know that this year, invited or not, they'll probably show up anyway. Add some spiced, spiked cider to that mix and you've got a recipe for a potential holiday meltdown.
The thing is, your relatives will still be your relatives long after someone else takes over the Oval Office, and preserving those relationships might, in the end, be more important than politics. But what do you do when you know your family is split along bipartisan lines, and you're just not equipped to deal? We've got some ideas: for neutralizing certain lines of conversation, for politely standing your ground, and for how to decide when to bow out instead of blowing up.
So let's take a deep breath and talk about the options at your disposal for surviving this holiday season. We're going to get through this one — together.
Prep yourself — and your parents — for exactly how much time you plan to spend.
Unless you're spending the holidays with a bunch of people you've never met before, you likely already have an idea of what you'll be walking into this year. For example: I know that there is at least one uncle I might not be able to resist talking politics with, and suffice it to say, we were not on the same side in this election.
If that sounds familiar, here's the plan: Minimize the time you're going to spend at your family affair, and make sure whoever is organizing knows that beforehand.
"Anybody can endure anything if they know how long it’s going to last," says Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist who specializes in interpersonal relationship issues. She compares Thanksgiving to a marathon: There should be mile markers in place to help you get through the day. "Pace yourself," she adds.
If Thanksgiving dinner starts at 3 p.m., get there with enough time to say your hellos and offer some help in the kitchen — but definitely don't plan to be there the whole day and night. More combative discussions are likely to come later on, after everyone runs out of pleasantries and the usual "what have you been up to?" conversation topics. Give yourself enough time to make the rounds and engage with relatives, and don't bail before dessert or offering to help with dishes. But once you feel like you've said all you need to say and kissed all the cheeks you meant to kiss, make a clean exit.
It's also not a bad idea to let the gang know when you're planning to head out, and why (high school friends meeting up at a bar? need to make a stop at your significant other's family celebrations?), so that everybody has the same expectations.
Illustrated by Louisa Cannell.
Commit to a game plan for how you're going to spend time with your nearest and dearest.
One other thing of note: If you do wind up leaving a little earlier than your family would have liked, know how you're going to offset the disappointment.
Managing expectations will help keep time spent with your family running smoothy, confirms Dr. Durvasula: "Some people are more sensitive than others. They feel slighted when they don't get what they want. People feel fulfilled if they see everyone. Our tendency is that, if we don't want to spend time with someone, we don't, so left to our own devices at a family event like that, it's very likely that we almost unconsciously forget to spend time together. But if you can build the scheduled time in, then you can avoid overlooking people."
Set some time to stop and see your grandma, one-on-one, while you're home, or make sure to write the aunt who hosted a sweet email the day after the fact. Tell your cousins you want to have a group coffee the next time you're all in town, and then do what it takes to make that happen. Say you're going to start calling your great-aunt every other Sunday night — and then actually do it. Some dedicated time and kind words can go a long way toward smoothing things over for the future, and making next Thanksgiving seem a lot less stressful.
Illustrated by Louisa Cannell.
If all else fails: Escape to the kitchen for dish duty.
If table topics are heating up and you really don't want to participate, take the opportunity to be a good guest and go help out in the kitchen.
While this might seem like an avoidance tactic, it's actually an engagement tactic, explains Dr. Durvasula. Signing yourself up as the host's helper will give you something to do, and also something to talk about other than hot-button topics: the pies, the sides, the cornucopia table-scape.
One thing about Thanksgiving is that there are always pots to scrub, dishes to bus, coffee mugs to refresh. Theoretically, you might be able to busy yourself with back-of-house activities all day, if you really wanted to. Plus, you'll get bonus points for being the best guest ever.
Illustrated by Louisa Cannell.
Steer clear of controversy, in general, if it's something you want to avoid.
Okay, so: What if you're cooped up with the family all day (maybe all weekend), and can't do a darned thing about it? Well, if you're the kind of person who wants to keep the peace at all costs (no shame in that, folks), then your best bet is to steer clear of minefields altogether.
Seated next to your brother who also happens to the the president of his college's Young Republicans Club? Switch up the seating so you can catch up with your aunt who used to work for the ACLU. Find yourself suddenly ensconced in a debate about the electoral college? This is when you go to the bathroom, or bite your tongue, or maybe decide it's time to take your little cousins for a post-turkey walk around the neighborhood.
Another mantra to keep in mind, according to Dr. Durvasula: Pick your battles. And remember that this isn't just your Thanksgiving — it's other people's, too. "You don't have to sit there and put up with other people's vitriol," she adds, "but you can also defuse the bomb without getting into it. Make your stance. But don't get stuck in the mud. Be mindful." That might mean telling your grandma that you love her, and that you two will just need to agree or disagree, or gracefully bowing out of a conversation. You've got options. Don't hesitate to put them to use.
Illustrated by Louisa Cannell.
But don't be afraid to state your opinion and stand up for what you believe in.
Personally, the holiday moment I'm most anxiously anticipating this season is the one when someone inevitably says something about Hillary Clinton — or the people who voted for her — that I just can't ignore. At this point, I have processed the reality: Donald Trump will be our president come January.
But we still fought a hard fight. Personally, I fought it because I really believe Hillary Clinton deserved to win, and represented the interests of minorities, people of color, and women in a way that her opponent did not. For that reason, it still hurts — and I'm still defending her positions now that the cement has set.
So if someone — say, the aforementioned uncle, who is likely to stir the pot just for fun — decides to impeach what the Clinton campaign stood for, or suggests that Trump "didn't mean" his most divisive comments, I will not be resisting the urge to fact-check and speak out. I will calmly add whipped cream to my pumpkin pie and keep my chill to the best of my ability, all while explaining what I feel, why I feel that way, and how my feelings have been informed by facts.
The thing is, most people have their own version of my uncle. He's the guy who pushed you on the swings when you were small and taught you how to change a tire; he's also the guy you have known your whole life but have less and less in common with, with each passing year. Let's assume that he's not mean-spirited, or racist, or otherwise unkind: He just looks at the world through a very different lens.
We have an opportunity to connect with one another right now — to help other people see our perspective, whatever it may be. It doesn't have to be barbed, or charged, or explosive. It could be an opportunity to really talk about why people hold the beliefs and values that they do, and better understand how they came to them.
Bottom line, says Dr. Durvasula: "Don't be afraid to state your opinion and stand up for what you believe in." Maybe you don't change any minds or political leanings on Thanksgiving. But maybe this is the moment that you open the dialog and help to put a more personal face on a specific issue. Rather than pushing us farther apart, maybe these conversations could bring us closer together.
Illustrated by Louisa Cannell.
Give yourself permission to skip out this year, if you truly would prefer to steer clear.
Confession: I'm not headed back to my family's home in the midwest this year. My partner and I are sticking close to the East Coast, his family, and their de facto Democratic Party turf — which has less to do with the election outcome and more with a policy of avoiding busy airports whenever possible. I'll be missing my folks, but I'm also glad that pro-Trump talk won't be part of my Thanksgiving.
Another confession: Even though I'm looking forward to turkey time, there's another part of me wishing we could just order in Chinese and spend some quality time Netflix-and-chilling on the couch. It's been a long month, and frankly, I'm tired. I need a break, and to really think about what I'm grateful for. There is plenty of good in my world — plenty that's great about America. Giving yourself the space to contemplate that isn't a bad way to observe the holiday, and maybe even kick off a new tradition.
But it's also good to keep the bigger picture in mind when you're making the decision to forego a family holiday. Is it your sister's first year as a mom? Is there any reason to think that this could be your last holiday season with someone you love? "Ideology is really important," says Dr. Durvasula, "but there's also life."
So if you decide that this is the year that you're going to hang with friends, or your partner, or even solo on the couch, and it's not going to irreparably break your family's collective heart: Consider this permission to do just that. Recharge. The next round of holidays will be here before you know it.
Illustrated by Louisa Cannell.
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Super-swishy black-tie events present an exciting chance to get seriously gussied up, floor-grazing gown and all. But for those of us who approach footwear decisions even somewhat pragmatically, fancy occasions mean toe-numbing, hobble-inducing shoes. Well, Anne Hathaway just gave us the best reminder that you can, and should, say "to hell with that" when it comes to dressing up in uncomfortable, teetering kicks.
At last night's annual Guggenheim International Gala, the actress wore a sheer, short-sleeved nude Dior top and matching skirt embellished with some whimsical flora and fauna — look 58 from the house's spring 2017 show, Maria Grazia Chiuri's hotly anticipated debut as creative director. Sure, the nighttime-only dimensions of her clutch were par for the course for the glitzy gala circuit. But if you let your gaze travel a bit further south, things get interesting and certainly a bit surprising: Hathaway opted for combat boots. (Yes, really.)
Granted, these aren't a standard-issue, old, scuffed-up version of the style. This shiny black pair, finished off with rhinestone detailing and grosgrain bows, is also from Dior (which sponsored the bash). And these certainly aren't on the same level as your $125 Dr. Martens; these ankle boots don't even have a price listed online (they're available solely in stores).
But it's less about the particular boots and more about the badass rejiggering of the notion of "appropriate" footwear for the fanciest of occasions. We're all about that, Anne.
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A photo posted by Lauren Bushnell (@laurenbushnell) on
Lauren Bushnell and Ben Higgins just celebrated the one-year anniversary of their engagement on The Bachelor. To mark the occasion, they each shared photos on Instagram that prominently feature Bushnell's engagement ring.
"1 year with you," Bushnell captioned her photo, including the diamond ring emoji.
Higgins' caption reads, "One year ago today I proposed to @laurenbushnell and even with the normal relational speed bumps our relationship has continued to mold us both into better partners and better people. I am lucky to have her, we are doing very well!"
Okay, so we have some questions: First, during the most recent episode of Ben & Lauren: Happily Ever After?, it looked like Ben called the wedding off. If these loved-up captions are to be believed, that was just a bump in the road that the couple managed to level out.
We have also seen the picture that Lauren shared before. It's from the couple's engagement photo shoot, which was featured in an earlier episode.
Whether the wedding is on or off, one thing is for sure. Ben and Lauren know how to keep everyone talking, which is job number one for a reality-show super couple.
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