“Wow! You’ve lost so much weight and you look amazing!” is still considered one of the most flattering compliments a woman can receive by some. In addition to perpetuating the misconception that weight loss and success are one and the same, this well-intentioned comment can inadvertently be extremely harmful. That’s why writer Ijeoma Oluo posted a powerful message on Facebook explaining why she won’t congratulate weight loss.
Oluo won’t discuss diets or congratulate people on their weight loss because she refuses to perpetuate the harmful notion that a thin body is a moral victory — and this is something she knows firsthand.
Oluo has been on the receiving end of these compliments. She’d been overweight for most of her life, but decided to “fix” this perceived flaw once and for all after she was sexually assaulted by an ex-boyfriend at age 22. Oluo, who had survived childhood sexual abuse and an abusive marriage, decided the blame for these attacks lay on her shoulders.
“I had decided that this had happened because I had settled, once again, for someone who had never once pretended to value me,” she wrote in the Facebook post. “And when I tried to figure out why — why someone who so many people had repeatedly said had so much going for her would be hurt so often, I settled on my weight. I decided that as long as I was fat, nobody who wasn't abusive was going to want to be with me.”
Like many eating disorder survivors and sufferers, Oluo believed that a low weight would allow her to stop hating herself, and therefore she’d finally feel worthy of being treated with kindness, dignity, and respect.
Her weight plummeted, and Oluo writes that society reinforced what she already believed — men showered her with compliments, women suddenly wanted to be friends, and she began to receive better customer service at restaurants.
“For five years, I got to be treated like a human being,” Oluo wrote. “And it pissed me the fuck off.”
Society sent her a loud and clear message that being thin was a requirement for the right to exist in a public space — and she resented every moment of it. Oluo gained back half the weight when she became pregnant with her first child and has now returned to her natural weight. In the years since, Oluo writes that she’s “packed my life with more accomplishments than I had ever before imagined.”
“[W]hat I am fighting for is a world where people are treated with respect and dignity and kindness because they are human beings,” Oluo’s post concludes.
She refuses to engage in conversations that perpetuate the notion body sizes should be put on a value scale. Speaking to Refinery29, Oluo said, "The response has been wonderful. A lot of people have commented that the post is helping them see the impact of diet and weight loss culture in a new way. But I've been really blown away by the amount of people who really felt heard and represented and uplifted by the post. I wrote it feeling, honestly, very frustrated and sad. I wrote it because I needed to let people know exactly why I was not going to let that issue go, but it was very painful to write it all down. So to see that pain that normally just sits in the back of my brain and torments me whenever I look in the mirror actually help others has been amazing. I hope that more people are able to share their stories and know that they are not alone."
Let’s focus on complimenting each other for the reasons that matter — kindness, compassion, work ethic, and loyalty to our loved ones. Those are the qualities that make us valuable human beings, regardless of the number on the scale.
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Chris Evans and Jenny Slate's romance was as fun as it was shortlived. Of all the celebrity pairings, theirs always seemed a little oddball. On the one hand, they were both dating superheroes. Evans was Captain America and Slate was Marcel the Shell With Shoes On.
Their breakup was nearly as whirlwind and left some of us a little shook. Shit, it happened so fast that the movie that they met on hasn't even come out yet. But their behavior as exes so far has been on-point. To wit: Evans gushing about ex Slate to People.
“She’s my favorite human,” Evans tells the magazine. “She’s the best. I’ve never ever ever met someone in my life who has a mastery of the English language the way she does. She’ll give you one sentence and there’s no fat to it. You’re like, ‘You just chose such an unbelievable collection of words that beautifully articulate what you say.’ It’s like an art form talking with her, because the visuals associated with her expression are just so colorful. She’s so vulnerable, so honest, so interested in other people more than herself, she’s incredibly compassionate, there’s just nothing to not love about her.”
Wow. That's, like, nicer than even my mom would say about me. That's not because my mom doesn't love me, it's because that's about the nicest thing anyone has said about anyone, ever. I would, in fact, pay good money for Chris Evans to break up with me if he would say this nice stuff in public.
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In addition to the late actor James "Uncle Phil" Avery, who died in 2013, Janet Hubert was the only former castmember not included in the reunion pic. Daphne Maxwell Reid, who replaced Hubert as Will Smith's rich aunt Vivian Banks from season 4 to the series finale in 1996, did score an invite, however. Many of the NBC show 's fans wondered by Hubert was snubbed, and now we know why: There's some major bad blood there.
Hubert, who went by the name Janet Hubert-Whitten during her time on the show, addressed her absence in a Facebook post. The actress had strong words for former TV son Alfonso Ribeiro, who posted the reunion pic.
"I know the media hoe Alphonso [sic] Ribeiro has posted his so-called reunion photo," Hubert wrote. "Folks keep telling me about it. He was always the asswipe for Will. There will never be a true reunion of the Fresh Prince. I have no interest in seeing any of these people on that kind of level.
"I am not offended in the least, by this photo… it was an event for Karen’s [Karyn Parsons, who played eldest daughter Hilary Banks] charity,” she continued. "It does however prompt me to take some meetings in Hollywood to pitch my memoir Perfection is Not a Sitcom Mom, and tell of the behind-the-scenes story before I leave this earth.”
That post appears to have been deleted, but Fresh Prince fans will find this jab at her onscreen replacement.
Why all the drama? Hubert and Will Smith famously clashed during their time on the show. Hubert, who is rumored to have been fired from Fresh Prince for breach of contract when she became pregnant, once accused the actor of not helping other castmembers get raises. Smith, meanwhile, has shot back that his costar resented his success.
"I can say straight up that Janet Hubert wanted the show to be The Aunt Viv of Bel Air Show, because I know she is going to dog me in the press," he said in a 1993 radio interview. "She has basically gone from a quarter of a million dollars a year to nothing. She's mad now but she's been mad all along. She said once, 'I've been in the business for 10 years and this snotty-nosed punk comes along and gets a show.'"
This beef's been simmering for more than 20 years, so don't go expecting any sudden reconciliations. We'll always have the reruns, though.
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After years and years of can't miss critical and commercial hits, Pixar has lost its way of late. That doesn't make it unique. Apple, Steve Jobs' other pet project, has become a confusing morass of products that are individually beautiful but lack the definitive vision of the late great technocrat. Similarly, Pixar has found itself on a sequel treadmill that's seen some critical praise, some commercial success, but has been a far cry from when the studio churned out hit after hit after hit.
Coco, at least, looks like a step in the right direction. The film will feature Pixar's first all-Latino cast and take a setting that should be rich for animated exploration. To wit: The first real look we have at the movie looks incredible. "Dante's Lunch" is a short about Dante, the dog of Coco protagonist Max. He's quite literally a dog with a bone, as the short sees the extremely good boy dragged all around town by this dang bone. The final twist is pretty shocking.
You ought to watch this if you enjoy dogs, goth stuff, Dia de los Muertos, and good animation. This is extremely good.
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Around mid-March the U.S.A. Women’s hockey team decided that they’d had enough.
“Players on the U.S. Women’s National Hockey Team announced today that they will not participate in the International Ice Hockey Federation (IIHF) World Championship games,” a statement on behalf of the team read.
The team’s demands were clear: They wanted equal pay for equal play. They required the same salary and benefits as their male contemporaries.
During the off-years of the Olympics the women received little pay. When traveling, they were required to share hotel rooms while the men received private accommodation. While the guys flew first class, the women flew coach. During the six-month period before the Olympics the female players received $6,000. Which was, the of course, much less than the men.
After more than a year of stalled negotiations and attempts by their governing body — a.k.a. the USA Hockey organization — to nullify conflict, the players staged a boycott.
And amazingly, it worked.
On Thursday, after 14 months of attempts then nearly two weeks of boycotting the women were granted what they’d asked for, according to CNN. This week they’ll take on Canada in Plymouth Michigan for their first match.
As noted by CNN, the team received a swell of outside support as well. In an interview with ESPN, USA Hockey Olympian Mike Eruzione said "I think things like this are why you get Billie Jean King, Julie Foudy and so many other women who fought for years for women to get things like equal treatment, equal pay,” said the former player. “You hate to see this have to happen."
Though, possibly the biggest, most heartwarming part of the entire ordeal was the solidarity show across the board. HelloGiggle s noted that USA Hockey attempted to replace the team with players from intramural leagues and college teams. However, the players refused. And instead of doing this silently they took to Twitter and other platforms to let their stance be known using the hashtag, #BeBoldForChange.
Ugh, prom. Just when we thought the institution couldn't possibly get any more sexist and discriminatory, a Florida high school told 17-year-old couple Paula Goodgame and Anjali Persad that they won't be allowed to attend together. But it's cool, it's not like the school waited until a week before prom to tell them or anything. Oh wait, no, that's exactly what the school did.
Goodgame tweeted this morning about the school's last-minute banning of her date, which came via email from her guidance counselor — with possibly the most incongruent smiley face emoticon ever?
A week before prom and i'm not allowed to take my girlfriend...it's not like we already bought what we were gonna wear or anything... pic.twitter.com/JwyQ9ZzpQS
"I took the response as a huge surprise because of how rude it was," Goodgame told BuzzFeed. "Especially because it was coming from someone I'm supposed to confide in."
"If she can't go to my prom, then that prom is not worth going to," Goodgame said of Persad. "You're supposed to have that whole 'magical' night with someone special, ya know? It wouldn't be worth it without her."
It looks like Persad feels the same way. And so, apparently does most of Twitter; Goodgame's tweet quickly went viral, and plenty of friends and strangers alike tweeted their support of the couple and their outrage at the school.
Since Goodgame goes to a Catholic school, many tweeters were unsurprised at the homophobia, but Goodgame herself was blindsided.
"There are other gay people at the school, and a couple of the students there have gay parents. No one really expected this to come about, especially me and my friends," she told BuzzFeed. "My family and my best friend's family is Catholic and they're supportive of what I do because they believe in 'love thy neighbor' despite who that 'neighbor' is."
Plus, one astute tweet pointed out that even the Pope encourages inclusivity these days.
@RR_KTK@paula_goodgame@anj_ovies “If someone is gay and searches for the Lord and has good will, who am I to judge?” - Pope Francis
Others pointed out that the school guidance counselor could have used a copy editor.
1. They are a hella cute couple. 2. What kind of school sends out a message with a huge typo in it?! 3. Complete and utter bullshit. https://t.co/cDAarRXeeI
But possibly the best piece of advice was that Goodgame and Persad should just fuck that school and go to prom anyway. Preferably in full Gentlemen Prefer Blondes sequined regalia.
You know when it's the end of a long work day, or a big night on the town, and you're suddenly overcome by the need to be in bed, stat? Not sitting on the subway. Not relaxing at a quiet cocktail spot. Nope: Bed, ASAP. So you hop in an Uber, hurry home, and when you're finally under the covers it hits you: Shit. I left my valuable Nordic walking poles in the car.
You can laugh, but know this: It has happened. And apparently Uber's got the Nordic walking poles to prove it. The company just released its Lost & Found Index, which it calls "a snapshot of our riders’ most commonly forgotten items" (phone, wallet, keys, boring). But of course Uber couldn't stop there: There's also a lengthy — and much more entertaining — list of some rather uncommon items that riders have left behind. From lobster to a bulletproof vest to Crime and Punishment(I definitely wanted to ditch that thing in the back of a taxi too) to a "sweet potato care package," whatever that is, those unforgettable — and yet definitely forgotten — walking poles are in good company.
The index also includes fun analysis of a bunch of other Uber-loser data, such as when items are most often reported lost (Sundays, because thanks a lot Saturday night) and which city is home to the most forgetful riders in the country (it's not New York?!).
Uber even parsed out which personal items are most likely to be lost on certain days of the week. Some of them make perfect sense: Briefcases get lost on Friday (TGIF) and wedding dresses get lost on the weekends. But missing swimsuits every Tuesday? What kinds of lives are these riders living? Nordic Walking Poles Gal, if you're out there, we envy and admire you.
Check out the weirdest real-life Lost & Found list ever, below.
50 Most Unique Items Forgotten in Ubers
Valuable Nordic walking poles Paintings Lobster Sweet potato care package Paycheck Guitar Engagement ring Rubber mallet School papers Chair Laser Hot Cheetos Notary bag Pool stick Smoke machine Pearl earrings Wedding outfit Hard drive Stroller Bulletproof vest Crime & Punishment (book) Valium Grill set Meat packet Corn hole boards Wooden hat Lottery ticket Back massage device Rose quartz Mustard Bible Elf cut-out Tap handle Expensive slipper Harry Potter glasses Salsa Verde Kite Cape Potted plant Nintendo Dog sweater Contact lenses Diary Tickets Arm sling Taser Vacuum Jewelry box Money bag Violin
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Last week's Scandal left off with a pretty huge cliffhanger -- Huck (Guillermo Diaz) and Jennifer Fields (Chelsea Kurtz) had been shot by Meg (Phoebe Neidhardt). Fields is obviously dead and Huck is obviously not, but we don't pick up with them.
Instead, the show picks up with the even bigger bombshell: The fact that Abby (Darby Stanchfield) was in cahoots with Meg and "Sarah" (Zoe Perry).
So we are now treated to finding out just exactly how a former gladiator and the current chief of staff to the president got in bed with the organization that assassinated Frankie Vargas (Ricardo Chavira). And that's where things start to feel a little off.
Scandal is always at its strongest when the key players are making moves against one another. One of the weaker aspects of the show is when the key players are fighting some shadowy "big bad," because they can show and tell us how big and how bad the shadowy organization is all they want, but it ultimately feels a little removed. It's not as intimate as when the characters are battling each other, even if they have Joe Morton around to elevate the material to Shakespearean levels.
In the case of "Sarah" and the mysterious organization that wants Frankie dead and Mellie (Bellamy Young) in the White House, they don't even have Morton there this week to help out with the heavy hitting.
Not that Stanchfield isn't solid this episode, but having Abby turn on all she has fought for because she wants to be president rings really false here. Yes, President Grant (Tony Goldwyn) treats her with very little respect at jsut the moment when Marjorie Ruland, a.k.a. Sarah, and Mr. Paeus have approached Abby with an incredible offer of political and monetary support, but that still doesn't quite feel like it would be enough to get her to hop into bed with these people.
Also, do they really want us to believe some nobody is just going to run for president out of nowhere? Yes, yes, Donald Trump blah blah, but he was not a nobody. He's been a celebrity for decades and not only is Abby a nobody, but she's a woman. It would be infinitely harder for a woman to pull this off and we all know it. At least Mellie was first lady and then a senator before she ran for president. That at least makes a modicum of sense.
But Abby is a nobody. Chief of staff is a huge job, yes, but how many average Americans know who the president’s chief of staff is? Outside the Beltway, she’s a nobody who would never be able to mount a successful presidential campaign without having held some other political office first.
Sarah even tells Abby later that she was a complete fool to believe she could run for president. Yeah, no kidding. It would have been more believable to the audience if Abby had ever shown a shred of interest in political office, but she hasn’t and that’s why this feels so fly-by-night. Either way, however, Sarah and Paeus getting Abby on board was all a ruse to get someone helping them from the inside.
Granted, Abby wasn't helping Sarah and Co. because of her desire to be president. She was helping them because after they set up her up with a PAC (political action committee), they dropped the bomb that the $300 million used to fund it came from North Korea and they could turn Abby in for terrorism. They also kidnapped her boyfriend Leo ( ), so she was essentially blackmailed into helping frame Cyrus (Jeff Perry) for Vargas' assassination.
So Abby's motives are definitely legit, but the entire storyline is still ridiculously outlandish, even by Scandal standards.
What might have been marginally interesting is if the show had kept Abby's backstory with all this secret for a few episodes. Send everyone out on the manhunt for Huck that we know is coming based on the previews for next week. Sure, the explanation still would have played a little false, but at least there would have been time to let the conspiracy theory breathe, let viewers wonder if Abby really is a traitor.
Instead, that OMG moment is completely wrapped up, in a rather unsatisfactory way, no less. Huge bummer.
Though as previously mentioned, Stanchfield was the featured player this week and she handled her material like a champ, particularly the scenes at St. Anne's hospital following Vargas' shooting. She was quite good there and it was highly enjoyable to see that sequence from the other side.
Let's hope after the Huck manhunt brings everyone's favorite hacker home safe and sound (because of course it will), the show gets back on track to explain exactly what the "Fund for American Renewal" is all about.
The name certainly smacks of a Trumpian, Koch-esque organization, but we don't even yet know if that's the true organization Paeus and Sarah even work for (and it's probably not). But if we have to jump in bed with another mysterious organization on Scandal, the best we can hope for is some kind of interesting payoff, a la Papa Pope being in command of B-613.
It's about time that the queen met the king. Variety reports that Beyoncé is in talks to star in Disney's live-action remake of The Lion King. The trade publication adds that while the queen of queens and diva of divas is pregnant (What, you didn't know?), the fact that it's a voice role means that it shouldn't be an issue. No Coachella replacements here.
But what role will Beyoncé be playing? All clues point to Nala. If you need a refresher on your Shakespeare-via-African savannah animals tale, she's the female lion cub that's betrothed to Simba at the beginning of the film. This is all before that heartbreaking wildebeest stampede, the ensuing Timon and Pumbaa "Hakuna Matata" bromance (Not Disney's official first gay moment, but those two were definitely life partners, right?), and Simba's triumphant return to Pride Rock. And as for the singing? There's no word on whether or not the remake will have any of the OG Lion King 's musical numbers, but Nala does have a verse in "Can You Feel the Love Tonight," the Elton John-penned ballad you now have stuck in your head.
Variety adds that Bey is director Jon Favreau's top choice, but nothing's set in stone just yet. Sources add that the director and Disney are both willing to work around Beyoncé's schedule, since having a huge name like hers on the film basically guarantees that it'll achieve every milestone known to mankind. Not that Disney remakes need any help: Beauty & The Beast had a $170 million opening weekend, which decimated the previous record for a March opening, which was held byBatman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. Past live-action releases, such as Alice in Wonderland (2010) and Cinderella (2015) earned $1 billion and $545 million during their respective runs, and The Jungle Book(2016) , also directed by Favreau, earned over $966 million.
Beyoncé may still be making up her mind about Nala, but other cast members are already signed on for The Lion King. Donald Glover is set to play Simba, voiced by '90s teen heartthrob Jonathan Taylor Thomas (young Simba) and Mathew Broderick (adult Simba) in the 1994 original. And because it would be ludicrous not to, James Earl Jones is returning for his role as Mufasa.
Beyoncé's last film role was in Fox's 2013 animated feature, Epic.
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At this point we kind of feel bad for Justin Bieber's stylist. Though the Bieb-ployee has received her fair share of hate, it's not about to stop any time soon. That's because Bieber is rocking a look that many would call suspect at best when he stepped out to the beach today.
We're not sure, exactly, how to describe this look to you. So we'll just show you. Younger readers may want to avert their eyes.
The look is so remarkable that InStyle even composed a poem to it.
We're going to offer a half-hearted defense of Bieber's look. He's on the beach, he could even be on vacation. Lord help us if people saw half the ridiculous stuff we wore on vacation. My own personal last vacation was dominated by mud-splattered Gazelles and short-sleeve button-ups so preppy someone swam to shore off a yacht to punch me in the face. That didn't really happen, but you get the point. Let the man wear whatever ridiculous gear he wants.
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Norman Reedus made some news when he was walking the red carpet for the Garden of Laughs benefit at Madison Square Garden in New York City Sunday night. He spoke with blog the Dirty, telling them that he'd play Michonne if he was a woman, but what he said next raised more eyebrows.
“I think too many people are on the internet,” he told the blog. “And everybody has a computer and everybody has an opinion. Which is fine. But you gotta stop. If you don’t have too much violence, they go there’s not enough violence. Too much violence, there’s too much violence. You just have to tell the story sometimes."
We kind of agree, but we also think that internet doesn't really criticize shows in that way anymore. We've gone from the early internet era, in which everyone was a critic, to our current zeitgeist, which promotes internet activism. The violence levels of shows seems like an almost quaint concern, one that wouldn't really be shared by any outside of concerned parent groups. Although maybe that's just because we're dazzling urbanites [hair flip]. Who's to say?
Of course, Reedus can also just not pay attention to online. He's a rich actor on a successful show that's run for many years and will probably run for as many as the showrunners can stomach. It's a money-making, zombie-killing machine. Who cares what we think, so long as ratings are good?
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"His calf just popped, it was very weird," explained Peta Murgatroyd about her fiancé Maksim Chmerkovskiy earlier this week.
Chmerkovskiy suffered a massive calf injury while practicing for Dancing With The Stars. The freak accident took him out during week two of the hit ABC series.
The injury happened during his rehearsal with Glee star Heather Morris for Monday’s show. During the taping the 37-year-old cried out that “something went down, during their jive routine. According to Entertainment Tonight that something will now sideline him for week three as he recovers.
Luckily for Chmerkovskiy the procedure was successful. Though, the big question now is when or even if he’ll return.
"He told everyone he will be back in a couple of weeks but that isn't true, it's a lot worse than everyone initially thought," a source said to ET. "Doctors are insisting that Maks sit out for at least a month, but knowing Maks he will try and rush it and get back into the competition."
Despite only locking in one week of the show, Chmerkovskiy and Morris had already gained a rep for being the team to beat this season. Last week the duo performed a Viennese Waltz and got a 28 score which tied the two for third place. Though considering Morris’ dancer background — remember when she danced for Beyoncé? — she had a leg up over her fellow contestants.
Her recovering partner also has a lot riding on this season. "I got a mantle at home, it has two of [my brother] Val [Chmerkovskiy's] mirror balls, it has two of [my fiancée] Peta [Murgatroyd's] mirror balls, it even has a little mirror ball for the baby, and my lonesome mirror ball is standing by itself," he said recently. "It's feeling insecure and needs company, for sure, I just need to get balls evened out, and this is the opportunity. I'm not gonna stop."
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Look alive, folks, because this is probably the closest thing you'll get to a Spice Girls reunion for a long, long time.
Though she's declined recent offers to team up with her former bandmates on account of being a totally legit fashion designer now, Victoria Beckham hasn't completely turned her back on her past career as a pop star who just wants people to slam it to the left and shake it to the right.
Earlier in the week, the artist formerly known as Posh Spice teased that she was filming a "Carpool Karaoke" sketch with Late Late Show host James Corden. That, obviously, could only mean one thing: lots of Spice Girls hits were coming our way.
That's not really what happened. Though Beckham and Corden did buckle up and work in a short singalong, her appearance on last night's show was actually a role in a spoof of the '80s Andrew McCarthy/Kim Cattrall comedy Mannequin.
A fake trailer saw Corden falling in love with a store mannequin, played, of course, by David Beckham's missus. The couple fetch strange looks as they bond, and Beckham expresses her desire to be with other people like herself. Corden reacts by stealing her away, driving to a local Target, and plopping her in the store window display, where she bonds with her fellow mannequins. Anyone else think for a second there that the other mannequins might turn out to be Scary, Baby, Sporty, and Ginger?
But here's the best bit: En route to Target, Corden and the mother of four belt out the lyrics to the 1997 Spice Girls hit, "Spice Up Your Life." Basically, it amounts to a lot of hand waving and Posh softly cooing "Arriba." Hey, we'll take it.
Watch the sketch below.
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Welcome to Mothership: Parenting stories you actually want to read, whether you're thinking about or passing on kids, from egg-freezing to taking home baby and beyond. Because motherhood is a big if — not when — and it's time we talked about it that way.
In case you haven't heard, Lauren Conrad is pregnant. In January the fashion designer and lifestyle guru announced that she and husband William Tell are expecting their first child. While the former Laguna Beach and The Hills star knows the sex of her baby, she's not spilling. You'll just have to settle for this photo of her pregnant belly.
Conrad bared her so-called "bump" in an Instagram snapped during her and Tell's babymoon. No surprise that she's rocking the perfect tan and a flawless mani.
"Babymooning and pretending my blended lemonade is a margarita," the 31-year-old mama-to-be shared.
She didn't divulge where she and her husband, who got married in September 2014, were spending their vacation, but it looks pretty dreamy.
It's also unclear when she's due to give birth, and we won't be guessing. In her blog about pregnancy etiquette, the former reality TV star advised against making assumptions about the size of an expectant mother's belly.
"I myself have been guilty of this one," she wrote in January. "While seeing a friend’s bump grow can be really exciting, you probably don’t comment on the size or shape of any other part of a woman’s body — and it’s not a good idea to comment on her bump either! Women carry their pregnancy in all different ways, and can be self-conscious about it. Whether a woman is bigger than average or she’s not showing as much as she thought she would be, keep in mind that it can be a very sensitive subject."
Got it?
Conrad isn't the only Hills alum who is hearing the pitter-patter of tiny feet. Whitney Port told fans in February that she and husband Tim Rosenman are also about to be parents, while Conrad's ex-boyfriend Jason Wahler and wife Ashley Slack are preparing for the birth of their first child, a baby girl.
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Welcome to Mothership: Parenting stories you actually want to read, whether you're thinking about or passing on kids, from egg-freezing to taking home baby and beyond. Because motherhood is a big if — not when — and it's time we talked about it that way.
It's not long before Ciara gives birth to her second baby, which can only mean one thing: It's baby shower time.
E! News reports that the singer and husband Russell Wilson of the Seattle Seahawks celebrated the impending arrival of their little bundle of joy with a co-ed baby shower with an all-white dress code. (Think Puff Daddy taught her that?)
Ciara donned an ethereal white maxi dress with embroidered details for the occasion, sealing the look with a floral crown adorned with what appear to be white peonies. Female guests, including tennis champ Serena Williams and TV personality LaLa Anthony, wore their own pared-down versions of the crown as well. NFL quarterback Wilson, meanwhile, stuck to the theme by rocking a white hooded top with matching pants and sneakers.
Celebrity event planner Mindy Weiss oversaw the party, which was hosted at a private home in Los Angeles. Shake Shack catered the affair, while DJ Nabs performed for the couple's guests. The venue was decorated with white balloons with gold streamers, while lush bouquets of white flowers mingled with candles, stacks of books, and gold animal figurines on the tables.
There's no word if Ciara's first baby, Future Zahir, attended the event. Her son with rapper and former fiancé Future turns 3 in May. This will be the first child for Wilson, whom Ciara married in July 2016. She announced her pregnancy on her 31st birthday last October, paving the way for the most epic (awkward?) family maternity shoot of all time.
"On this special birthday I received an abundance of love from friends and family, and I'm excited to finally share one of the greatest gifts of all that God could give," she told fans at the time.
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BYOB (bring your own booze) may be one of the sweetest acronyms around. Especially in NYC where restaurants' legendary nosh is matched with more than legendary prices. That spaghetti carbonara with the 2010 bottle of Montepulciano? Yeah, it doesn't come cheap. So when those four little letters are printed or uttered in order, us New Yorkers do backflips — and then immediately rush to the nearest spirits store.
Yes, you can dine out in NYC without totally blowing your budget — all you have to do is check out some of the killer BYOB joints ahead. In the mood for sushi? No sweat, there's a BYOB spot for that. How about some lovely French cuisine in the West Village? Yep, a BYOB spot for that too.
So stock up on your bottles of choice and get to it!
Cherin Sushi Swing by Cherin in the East Village for some majorly fresh, and fairly priced, sushi. The digs are cozy, so be sure to show up early (or call ahead and reserve). Nothing like a cold beer and a spicy tuna roll!
Cherin Sushi, 306 E. 6th Street (at 2nd Avenue); 212-388-1348.
Tartine Restaurant Tartine in the West Village is truly a hidden gem — that's no longer so hidden. A tiny, cash-only, French bistro with delectable dishes and BYOB to boot. Make sure you arrive early as patrons have been known to line up down the block for a taste of that warm onion tart (it's bomb).
Tartine Restaurant, 253 W. 11th Street (at W. 4th Street); 212-229-2611.
Lucali's Lucali's pizzeria in Brooklyn has been made legendary by the likes of Beyoncé and Jay-Z stopping by for a slice — but the pizza alone is what sings. On top of all this buzz, the red sauce joint is cash-only (so super affordable) AND BYOB. Grab your favorite red vino and arrive VERY early to snag a spot.
Lucali's, 575 Henry Street (at Carroll Street) in Brooklyn; 718-858-4086.
Pure Thai Cookhouse This Hell's Kitchen Thai eatery dishes out hot and handmade noodles in a freshly no frills setting (dare we say hole-in-the-wall?) So stop by with your brews or bottles of choice and be sure to order up the crab and pork egg noodles with ALL the toppings.
Milon Bangladesh Now here is a BYOB joint worthy of a celebration — and not for any particular occasion. The (potential fire hazard) Indian restaurant's ceiling is festively strung with a myriad of colorful lights. And as with most of the other BYOBers on this list, be sure to call ahead or arrive early as this tight space gets jammed with a young and boozy crowd. But if you're looking to enjoy your butter masala in a loudly lit scene, then grab that Pinot Grigio and go!
Milon Bangladesh, 93 1st Avenue (at E. 6th Street); 212-228-4896.
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Update, March 31 at 8 a.m.:Jodie Sweetin has taken to Instagram to assure fans that she's doing well following reports of her split with former fiancé Justin Hodak. Earlier this week news broke that Hodak had been arrested multiple times after violating a temporary restraining order the actress had been granted.
Sweetin, who plays Stephanie Tanner on Full House and the Netflix reboot Fuller House, posed with her two daughters, 8-year-old Zoie and 6-year-old Beatrix, in the photo.
"Thank you so much to everyone who has reached out over the past two weeks," she wrote to fans. "It's definitely been a roller coaster, but with amazing family, friends, and fans, I'll be just fine! These two little loves are my everything and we will make it through!! Thank you for all the love!!"
Now, People reports that the former child star was granted a temporary restraining order against her ex, to whom she got engaged in January 2016 after two years of dating. Court documents show that Sweetin, 35, accused 40-year-old Hodak of abusing steroids, testosterone supplements, alcohol, and marijuana as well as acting violently. She also claimed that he brandished a pistol and threatened to take his own life in an incident at their then-shared home on March 18. Sweetin, who is mother to two young daughters from prior relationships, added that Hodak had called her at least 87 times and had threatened to share intimate photos of her.
In addition to the March 18 incident, Sweetin claimed that, in the wake of a prior breakup, Hodak had tried to confront her at the Warner Bros. lot where she films Fuller House, as well at her daughters' school.
“Hodak has acknowledged to Sweetin that he had served time in jail for felony offenses," court documents obtained by People state. "He told her that he committed a robbery to support a drug habit. According to law enforcement, his prior offenses include assault with a deadly weapon. He kept an illegal AR-15 assault rifle at the house, which the police have confiscated.”
According to the restraining order, he must stay at least 100 yards away from Sweetin, her home, her job, her vehicle, and her children’s school, and he cannot contact her directly or indirectly. The order also grants protection to her daughters, her parents, and her assistant.
Hodak, however, has allegedly violated the order multiple times, People reports. Yesterday he was arrested for the third time in nine days after police officers caught him driving by the actress' home. A police spokesman confirmed that he was charged with violating the order, though it is unclear what prompted the other two arrests, or if he has been released.
A court hearing to review the terms of the restraining order is scheduled for April 14.
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13 Reasons Why is, in some ways, a murder mystery — but if you came here looking for Netflix’s answer to Pretty Little Liars or Riverdale, turn back. The series shares more DNA with My So-Called Life (both series are set at “Liberty High School”) in that both offer a quiet analysis of teen life. Yet to really compare 13 Reasons Why to anything would be doing a disservice to what is one of the most special series to ever grace Netflix.
At its core, 13 Reasons Why is a study in how we treat one another. It examines the “small” aggressions we commit that cause unthinkable pain, and the larger ones that become even more painful when we are told we must “move on” from them. It’s also an unflinching, realistic look on particularly challenging topics, including rape, suicide, and depression.
And, I will warn you now: it’s not an easy show to watch. 13 Reasons Why makes poignant points about what we owe one another as humans, but this is not The Breakfast Club or even Perks Of Being A Wallflower. This show is not kind — even if it implores its characters to be.
It is, however, very, very important — especially for teens, their parents, and any authority figure who deals with either. You haven’t seen teen television like this before, and it’s about time it existed.
Photo: Beth Dubber/Netflix
Episode 1
High school can be heaven or hell — depending on your perspective and social standing, of course. It’s not hard to know which one it was for Hannah Baker (Katherine Langford). When 13 Reasons Why opens, we learn that pretty, smart, vivacious Hannah killed herself weeks earlier, and Clay (Dylan Minnette) — her co-worker at the movie theater and longtime admirer — still can’t wrap his mind around it.
But he’s going to — if the late Hannah has anything to say about it. Shortly after Hannah’s strung-out ex Justin (Brandon Flynn) accuses a confused Clay of being “not so innocent,” Clay receives a package in the mail from Hannah herself. Inside the package are tapes — tapes that tell the story of Hannah’s life, or, more importantly, why she felt it had to end. 13 sides for each person responsible for her suicide. Listen to everything and pass it on, Hannah warns, or else a “trusted individual” will make the tapes go public. And that — well, that would be bad for everyone.
Clay is immediately freaked out — he can’t figure out why he’s on the tapes at all, and is terrified to find out. He steals a tape player from Tony (Christian Navarro) — one of quiet Clay’s only friends — and lets Hannah’s voice guide him around San Francisco… and her psyche. Never mind that Clay’s own parents are worried about what’s going on in his head — though he would never dream of telling them about the tapes, Clay only has thoughts for Hannah.
The first person up on Hannah’s shit list is Justin — the boy who was very freaked about what Clay heard on the tapes. In flashbacks narrated by Hannah, we get the story of Justin and Hannah — a story of young romance gone terribly awry. Hannah describes how Justin, the boyfriend du jour of her best friend Kat (Giorgia Whigham) who has since moved away, became the object of her infatuation. Hannah plays cat and mouse with Justin until he’s just as smitten with her as she is him.
Eventually, Hannah sneaks out of her house (despite being under the watchful eye of her mother Olivia, played by Kate Walsh) and meets up with Justin in the park. The two have a lovely, sweet night on the playground that culminates in a kiss. Hannah thanks Justin for that kiss — just not what comes after.
Justin proves he’s less-than-noble when he shows an upskirt picture of Hannah from their playground date to his friends. Football captain and resident asshat Bryce (Justin Prentice), forwards the photo to the entire school, humiliating Hannah. And that’s the reason why Hannah has listed Justin on the tapes: he took a beautiful moment and made it ugly.
Clay isn’t so innocent either. He remembers a moment just after Hannah’s photo went viral, when Hannah came to sit with him at lunch. Clay — jealous of her hookup with Justin — snapped at Hannah. Hannah left the lunch table in tears.
While listening to Hannah’s tape at the playground, Clay sees Tony’s red convertible pull up. Clay is confused — until Tony reveals the truth. Tony is the friend that Hannah has put in charge of the tapes. The next day, Clay asks him why — why can’t Tony just tell him what’s on the tapes? It’s too hard for Clay to listen to her voice… he already sees Hannah in every corner of his mind. Tony can’t answer that — and advises Clay to just “keep listening.” Everything will be explained… but that doesn’t mean the journey won’t be a painful one.
Photo: Courtesy of Netflix.
Episode 2
It’s time for side two of Hannah’s tapes, and Clay is still terrified that he’s about to be called out for something that Hannah has declared as cruel. Alas, Clay isn’t side two of the tapes: instead, that honor goes to Jessica (Alisha Boe).
What’s Jessica’s story? It’s all about betrayal. Hannah and Jessica became friends when their guidance counselor earnestly introduced them. As much as they hated that their overly-peppy guidance counselor was right about their need for friends, the two clicked immediately, and soon they were sharing hot chocolate dates at local coffee shop Monet’s. After a few weeks of sipping hot cocoa, the two meet Alex (Miles Heizer), another newbie with a shock bleach blonde hair and a nose ring. Things are initially great between the trio: they share their biggest “FML” moments and help one another cope. Alas, as Hannah puts it “one plus one plus one is not an easy equation.” Eventually, Alex and Jessica start dating and all but ditch Hannah.
Later, though, things turn sour between Alex and Jessica — and Hannah gets caught in the crossfire. Jessica confronts Hannah with a “hot list” made by Alex… one in which Hannah is labeled “best ass” and Jessica “worst.” Jessica slaps Hannah, accusing Hannah of seducing Alex behind Jessica’s back — all at Monet’s, the place that was once so sacred to them.
Things are different in present day. Jessica, now a cheerleader, is dating Justin — yep, that Justin. Yet this week, Justin is MIA — Clay, who has questions following the first tape, can’t find him anywhere, and Jessica seems even more anxious to track him down. It soon becomes evident that both Jessica and Justin have listened to the tapes — and that there’s something even more incriminating on them than side one or side two suggests.
Jessica eventually learns that Justin has been hiding out at Bryce’s pool house, where he’s playing video games in between ripping his bong. Jessica confronts Justin and tells him that she’s worried about Clay: he’s not like the rest of them. He might talk. And besides: “If Hannah was lying,” Jessica asks Justin, “Why are you here?”
Yet Clay has nothing to talk about — at least not yet. Tony remarks that he’s one of the slowest people to listen to the tapes yet. Clay says it’s just too hard. His parents know something is up: Clay’s mother has filled an old prescription for antidepressants, “just in case” Clay wanted to start taking them again.
Hannah’s mother finds Alex’s list in one of Hannah’s old notebooks, and declares that it’s another example of her daughter being bullied. Hannah’s parents have been collecting evidence for the police for a lawsuit — one that Justin may possibly be involved in — and Olivia is convinced this is their key to the case. Hannah’s father Andy (Brian d'Arcy James) isn’t so sure that court will see it the same way (Andy remarks that some would call Hannah’s placement on the list a compliment, a.k.a. men), but Olivia needs something to cling to. Some explanation for Hannah’s suicide, no matter how thin, is better than nothing.
And so, she calls Tony — a person clearly close to the family. What is Tony’s true tie to the Bakers, and, specifically, Hannah’s death? Guess we’ll have to keep listening.
Photo: Courtesy of Netflix.
Episode 3
This episode opens with chaos theory: the idea that a butterfly flapping its wings could potentially cause a hurricane in another part of the world. It’s not hard to see why Hannah would be interested in the theory: she’s been stuck in the hurricane before.
Clay’s tape assignment brings him to the third side of the story of Jessica and Hannah’s disintegrated friendship: Alex. Alex is having a particularly tough time coping with Hannah’s death, and he’s already listened to the tapes twice, just in case the first time was a dream.
Meanwhile, Olivia is still hellbent on finding a reason for Hannah’s suicide. She didn’t get tapes: she needs to find evidence herself. She goes to see the Principal of the school, and begs for answers about Hannah’s behavior. Unfortunately, she doesn’t get them: the Principal says he shouldn’t be talking to her at all, given the lawsuit she’s brought against them. Instead, Olivia finds answers — or is it more questions? — when she finds graffiti mocking Hannah in the girl’s bathroom. Is this what she’s talking to Tony at Monet’s about? Why would Tony know anything about Hannah’s history in the first place?
One person who is taking on all the blame for Hannah’s suicide — or, at least, a large portion of the blame, since he declares that everyone on the tapes is also guilty — is Alex. It all comes back to that list, he says, but Clay can’t understand why Hannah would be so devastated by Alex’s “compliment.” It clearly took some time, but Alex has already listened to the tapes: he knows he messed up, and badly. As Hannah explains, if you don’t get it, you don’t understand what it’s like to be a girl: to have your body sexualized without your consent, to have to deal with the whispers in the hall. Not only did Alex placing Hannah on the list — which he admits he did out of spite because Jessica wouldn’t have sex with him — ruin Hannah and Jessica’s friendship, it also “declared open season” on Hannah’s body. The rumors are bad enough, but it’s more than that. Guys start grabbing her in the hallway, making comments, taking photos — a “joke” to them, but a total violation to Hannah.
And then there’s the Bryce thing. It’s a testament to actor Justin Prentice’s performance that the very sight of football captain, resident douchebag, and casual misogynist Bryce makes my skin crawl. While out purchasing candy at a local liquor store, Bryce comes up behind Hannah and buys her candy bar. However, the gesture isn’t exactly generous: after handing Hannah the candy bar, he grabs her ass, and tells her that Alex definitely got at least one part of the list right. With that, Bryce walks off, leaving Hannah frozen in place. It’s only after he’s gone that Hannah leaves the store, tears streaming down her face.
In present day, Clay visits the same liquor store where Bryce assaulted Hannah. Low and behold, Bryce is there picking up some malt liquor for his pals. He corners Clay, then demands that he engage in a chugging contest with Alex. It’s not a “fun” moment — it’s a bizarre intimidation tactic, and it works. Clay loses the contest, and then loses his lunch all over his mother’s home cooked meal.
It’s not just the alcohol that has made Clay sick: before heading home, he witnesses Tony — whom Alex previously told Clay “was only out for Tony” — brutally beating a guy. Is everyone right? Should Clay be wary of trusting what was once his only real friend?
As for Alex, hanging with the “cool crowd” has only made him more miserable. He jumps into the pool with his clothes on, and for a second we think he won’t come back for air.
Hannah’s final message of episode 3 is an ominous one. She warns Clay that her next task for him won’t be easy — and that he’ll have to be very, very quiet.
Photo: Courtesy of Netflix.
Episode 4
The meaning of Hannah’s final message of last episode is revealed. The tapes send Clay to Tyler the yearbook photographer’s house. Tyler was Hannah’s very own personal stalker: he used to stand outside her house, waiting for her to come home, and take her picture. Naturally, this terrified Hannah — but when Clay confronts Tyler about the pictures, Tyler reveals that he was actually in love with Hannah — she didn’t wear a mask like the rest of the world. Clay demands he destroys the photos he took of Hannah, and Tyler shows him one that he took of Clay walking with Hannah. Does he really want Tyler to destroy every picture?
Masks are an appropriate theme for this episode, considering it’s Halloween. Marcus, one of Bryce and Justin’s friends, finds Clay outside of Tyler’s bedroom — per Hannah’s request — and invites him to a party they’re having later. Of course, Clay will have to bring a party favor: Hannah’s tapes. Marcus wants Clay to forget about what’s on them and “move on” with the rest of the people featured in Hannah’s final thoughts. Tony warns Clay: whatever promises this group is making him, they’re lying.
Meanwhile, Hannah’s parents are dealing with their own loss. When Clay drives by Hannah’s house and finds it decorated with toilet paper thanks to a Halloween prank, he tries to clean up the mess. Olivia comes outside and threatens to call the police, but when Clay tells her that he was trying to take the toilet paper down, she invites him inside to talk about Hannah. But Clay doesn’t stay: he can’t bear a conversation with Hannah’s mom knowing that, should he give her the tapes, she’ll believe he’s responsible for her daughter’s death.
Andy, a pharmacist, is dealing with both the loss of his daughter and his life in the community: with a Wal-Mart like store opening up down the street, he’s losing customers left and right. But Olivia reminds him it’s not Walplex’s grand opening that is keeping them from coming into the Baker Pharmacy… people are now afraid of the Bakers. They don’t want to say the wrong thing. Well, screw that, says Andy: it’s time they fight and reminded them that their daughter’s death wasn’t a senseless tragedy. It could have been prevented.
Perhaps it could have — had it not been for people like Tyler and Courtney. In flashbacks, we learn that Courtney, the school’s classic overachiever, offered to help Hannah find the identity of her stalker. They hatch a plan to bait the photographer at their sleepover, but the plan gets tossed to the side when Hannah and Courtney get into Hannah’s parents’ liquor cabinet. Instead of catching Tyler, the girls play truth or dare on Hannah’s bed. Things escalate quickly: soon, Courtney is daring Hannah to kiss her. While they’re making out (Courtney is far more into it than Hannah is) Hannah sees a flash go off. Courtney and Hannah run to the window and catch Tyler in the act. Courtney is pissed — she thought Hannah’s stalker was some creepy old man, not a classmate. But really, she’s afraid that the photo will out her to the entire school.
It doesn’t: but not for lack of trying on Tyler’s part. The next day, Hannah confronts Tyler, and he agrees to delete all the evidence of that night. He then asks Hannah — the object of his affection — to “hang out,” which Hannah laughs off, considering he’s just confessed to being her secret stalker. That pisses Tyler off: he forwards half the school a blurry photo of Courtney and Hannah’s make out session, and Courtney confronts Hannah, sobbing. “Never talk to me again,” says Courtney. And just like that, Hannah has lost another friend.
No one ever finds out the identity of the two girls in the photo, but enough people have the picture on their computers for… well, not-so-innocent reasons. That includes Clay, who deletes the pics. But he’s not content with letting Tyler get away with his stalking: Clay decides it’s about time Tyler really knows what it feels like to be afraid, so he takes a photo of Tyler, naked, and passes it around to those who have heard the tapes. When Tony texts Clay “What the hell?” Clay just replies that he’s “Making [his] own justice.” Tyler, who also got a copy of the photo sent to his phone, sits down on his bed and cries.
If you are thinking about suicide, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or the Suicide Crisis Line at 1-800-784-2433.
A new trailer for the third season of I Am Jazz, the TLC reality show documenting the 16-year-old's life as a trans teen and LGBTQ activist, shows Jennings expressing her eagerness to get "bottom surgery," a term for genital reassignment surgery.
"You are about to turn 16, so I think it's feasible that you could have bottom surgery," a doctor tells Jennings and her mother.
"I definitely want to do it," the teen, who was assigned male at birth, tells him. "I've always dreamed about having this procedure done."
Her parents are wary, however.
"My brain puts on the brakes like, whoah!" her mother says in an on-camera confessional.
“It should be done after you finish high school,” her father suggests.
Jennings is persistent, insisting, "It is ultimately my decision."
It may not be that simple, however. She meets with another doctor, who suggests that he won't be able to perform the surgery she desires.
The new season, which begins June 28, will also see Jennings tackling teen milestones like learning to drive (she hates it) and dating. One scene shows her saying she'd be open to dating another trans teen.
One not-so-typical moment? Getting invited to stand up for trans rights during a debate about bathroom legislation with controversial right-wing pundit Tomi Lahren on TheBlaze. Jennings' father expresses his concerns about his daughter being in the "firing line of a shock jock." Sure enough, Lahren, who has since been fired from the conservative network, gives Jennings and her family the cold shoulder when they meet backstage.
Jennings also gets emotional in the trailer, telling her father "I just really hate myself" and crying to her mother that she "feels bad" about herself. When her mother suggests seeing a therapist, she lashes out.
"You think some random individual who doesn’t even know who I am will have the answers to my questions?” she responds. “You’re frustrating me.”
Watch the trailer below.
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Sephora is the grown-up version of a candy store. It elicits the same giddy, childlike euphoria, only in place of shelves filled with cherry-flavored licorice, bubblegum, and Hot Tamales, there are beauty products. (Look, sugar is wonderful, but even the tastiest chocolate bar can't hold a flame to the way the perfect red lipstick makes you feel.)
The retailer opened up its very first shop back in 1998 on a bustling New York City street, and has since expanded to more than 2,300 (!) stores worldwide. That's why the latest venture — the opening of the beauty giant's largest destination to date at its landmark location on 34th Street — is particularly sweet. Measuring in at a massive 11,300 square feet, you could easily consider it the Dylan's Candy Bar of beauty retail shops. But there's a lot more going on behind the glass doors than meets the eye.
For starters, the focus here will be on one-of-a-kind, "experiential" beauty services. It will have a number of stations scattered throughout the store, all with the coolest technology and trained consultants meant to give you the best product recommendations for your face, hair, and body. Considering the fact that the shop will house a whopping 13,300 products, we have a feeling you're going to need all the help you can get. Among the offerings:
Beauty Studio: You may know this particular section, which happens to be at the center of every single store, as the place where you can get a 1-on-1 makeover with Sephora experts. It will still feature its popular Pantone Color IQ technology that helps you pick the just-right shade of foundation, lipstick, and more, but the newest location will be the first to introduce Moisture Meter, a digital tool that measures the level of moisture in your skin — so you can get recommendations for the perfect face cream, too.
Tap and Try: Located on two endcap displays at in new space, you'll be able to try any lip or lash product sitting on the counter using the Sephora Virtual Artist's technology, which is combined with facial recognition scanners.
Fragrance Studio: Ever wanted to try 18 different fragrances before buying? Now you can. This station will feature the Fragrance IQ with the first-to-market sensory technology called InstaScent, which lets you explore different scent families through a dry-air delivery system. Plus, once you land on your olfactory match, you can opt to have your bottle engraved — on the house.
Exclusive products: The 34th Street shop will be first place to carry select La Mer and Jo Malone products.
