At what point does a nail design stop being wearable and become purely conceptual, a thing to be looked at and appreciated from a safe distance but never actually applied? That’s the question we’ve been asking ourselves for a while now, as we watch nail art “trend” after nail art “trend” make headlines for its wild and crazy take on the humble manicure.
Like gold wire nails — they’re pretty to look at, but how would you avoid pulling your hair while trying to put it in a half-up bun? And weed manis — so cool, but good luck explaining that to a TSA agent when you’re getting ready to board an international flight. Those aren’t even the most outrageous examples of taking nail art to the next level, either.
Ahead, we’ve taken some of the wildest manicures to happen to social media and ranked them on a scale of “totally reasonable” to “why does this exist?” To be clear, we stand by our belief that beauty is in the eye (or nail polish bottle) of the beholder…but sometimes there’s no denying the fact that things got weird.
#10: Geode nails
The problem (if you could really call it that) with geode nails is that, when viewed out of context, it resembles a purple, sparkly vagina. But it's not! It's a geode accent nail, and it's cute. (But if you're still looking for vagina nail art, we got you.)
#9: Weed nails
Used strategically, a little bit of low-quality marijuana might just have a place in the world of nail art, provided you live in Maine, Massachusetts, California, Alaska, Nevada, Washington, Oregon, or Colorado. (We hope it's low-quality, at least. Otherwise, what a waste.)
#8: Succulent nails
Succulents are hardy plants, but they do need to be watered, which is just one of the many reasons why putting them on your fingernails is so impractical. Still, millennials do love their houseplants, and this nail art is an extension of that love.
#7: Seashell nails
Nice, in theory, but its lumpy, bumpy texture — like the ridges of a real-life seashell — may not translate to one's thumbs very well.
#6: Snow globe nails
Snow globe nails do make for an entrancing Boomerang, but taking the trend to everyday life is a different Instagram Story entirely.
#5: Furry nails
While relatively tame in comparison to more... involved nail art, furry nails have been voted most likely to cause a visceral reaction and send a chill down your spine.
#4: Bubble nails
Speaking of lumpy, bumpy texture, bubble nails are created by using a ball of acrylic as a base that's then molded into a dome-like shape. Our beauty mantra is of the "you do you" variety, so if your bubble nails make you happy, then by all means. Just be careful trying to slice an onion or put your contacts in.
#3: Vampire fang nails
So long, so spiky, so literally-how-would-you-even-do-anything-with-those-on.
#2: Animal bone nails
No animals were harmed in the making of this nail art, but yes — the bones are real. A manicurist at Finger Bang nail salon in Portland used real mouse and vole skeletons to create the morbid look.
#1: Scorpion nails
It's not just that it's hard to understand why anyone would want their fingernails to look like those lollipops you got on school field trips — it's that by implanting them in your nails, you're risking exposure to the scorpion's venom, too. Now that's taking "killer nail art" to a new level.
Honorable mention: Denny’s nails
Is it wrong that we kind of wish this was a thing? It's simultaneously both the most convenient and inconvenient nail art of all time — and a stroke of genius by Denny's social media marketing team. (Not #spon, just love snacks.)
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